


A Jealous Beginning

by StarlightIncarnate



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Multi, NSFW Chapters, Sexual Fantasy, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:35:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23009413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightIncarnate/pseuds/StarlightIncarnate
Summary: After the war, Nesta is a wreck. Not feeling wanted in Velaris, she joins Cassian at an Illyrian camp in the mountains where she is content to drink and fuck her way into oblivion. However, when Nesta stumbles in on Cassian sleeping with another Illyrian female, a jealous rage overpowers her, opening floodgates of emotion and power to wash over her. From there, her icy rage begins to thaw, and Nesta learns to love once more.
Relationships: Cleo/OC - Relationship, Elain Archeron/Azriel, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Morrigan (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s), Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 18
Kudos: 178





	1. Chapter 1

Cassian 

It had nearly been a year. Eleven months and Cassian was no closer to breaking open the shell of a female that is Nesta Archeron than the day Feyre and Rhys had shipped the two of them off to the Illyrian Steppes.  
  
It’d been a year since that tragic day on the battlefield where they’d defeated Hybern and his armies. A year since Nesta had stood, frozen in horror, as her father’s throat was slit from ear to ear. A year since they had promised each other that they had time.  
  
And time he tried to give her. For the first month following the war, he kept his distance. Always making his presence known in case she needed him or, Cauldron boil him for even thinking, she could possibly even _want_ him, but never trying to overwhelm her, always giving her space. She had trauma and emotions that he knew she needed to sort out on her own that haunted her from the war. Yet, she never reached out. He never even saw her flinch whenever someone mentioned the war, his gaze always shooting to her when he thought they broached a touchy subject, but she just faced it with an icy, blank stare.   
  
He felt nothing from her through their ignored bond. He didn’t even know for certain that she was aware that they were mates; he assumed that she suspected, but he was doubtless. But in the back of his mind, all he picked up from Nesta was a cool indifference.  
  
He knew that eventually, he would have to go to the Illyrian camps to sort out the aftermath of war. After losing so many fierce warriors, things were bound to be chaotic and Azriel’s spies were beginning to note even worse behavior towards the females since the war had ended. Cass knew he had put it off for as long as he could, knew that he had duties elsewhere, he was General of the Illyrian warriors, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave Nesta in this state. This empty, hollow shell of a female who was once so passionate and fierce. The female that he loved. His mate.  
  
Rhys knew of his situation. Knew how much it pained him to give Nesta the space she needed when all he wanted to do was melt her troubles away and kiss her tears dry. Had she even shed tears, he didn’t know. But he knew that each day he spent with his family was another step back the camps took during his absence.  
  
“I know how hard this is for you, brother,” Rhys had said one night. Sympathy lacing his words as he tried to balance the roles between High Lord and friend, “but the camps are struggling without you, and- “  
  
“I know,” Cassian told him, “I’ll leave at first light.”  
  
He stalked off towards his rooms after that, where he hastily crammed his belongings into a pack. He didn’t have much, so it didn’t take long. It would kill him to leave her here while he was hundreds of miles away in the mountains. Where he would no longer be able to catch her sent, or distantly feel her presence in the next room over. Would the bond they had strain as the distance he’d put between them grew? Not being able to bear these thoughts, he stretched out his wings and shot to the night sky where he flew over Velaris until dawn approached.  
  
  


* * *

  
The next morning, Cassian made his goodbyes with Feyre, Rhys, and Mor. Not bothering with Az, as he knew the Shadowsinger would be in touch. Ameren didn’t show up to see him off, but he didn’t expect her to. After wiggling out of Mor’s too-tight bear hug he turned to find Elain offering him with a loaf of bread.  
  
“I baked it this morning,” she said sheepishly, “for you on your travels.”  
  
“Thank you, Elain,” he replied softly, “this is kind. I appreciate it.”  
  
After he had bid his goodbyes to everyone except the one person he had _actually_ wanted to see him off, he turned for the large balcony and spread his wings, just as-  
  
“Wait,” she said in a voice that was barely her own. No need to raise her voice, as the sight and sound of her even speaking was enough to awe the entire party to absolute quiet. “I, too, wish to go stay at the camps.” She was holding a small bag between her hands, folded neatly in front of her, her gaze directed at Cassian who was too dumbfounded to form a coherent thought, let alone use his voice.  
  
“Nesta, are you sure? We hadn’t talked about this before, why the sudden rush to leave,” Feyre asked her cautiously.  
  
“It’s not sudden,” Nesta stated matter-of-factly, “I’ve wanted to leave Velaris for some time now, I simply had no other place to go.”  
  
Pain lanced through him at the idea of his mate being uncomfortable in her own home. He hadn’t even known she didn’t wish to be here. He would fly her to the ends of Prythian, until his wings fell off, until she found a place she wanted to stay.  
  
Cassian took a glance at Rhys to gouge his reaction to Nesta’s unpredicted declaration, but Rhys was just focusing back and forth between Nesta’s eyes, trying to get a read on her. Like he couldn’t peak into her mind to see what she was thinking or how he was feeling. Pride washed over Cassian at the thought of his mate having shields strong enough to hold their own against the greatest High Lord in history.  
  
_Ultimately it’s your call,_ Rhys spoke into Cassian’s mind through the connection that was always open between the two of them whenever they wished to use it. _Perhaps she should go. I don’t know what to do with her here. She won’t train with Amren; she’s wasting away, maybe a change in scenery will be good for her after all. Though I can keep her here too, if you do not wish to have her in the camps, I know how brutal they can be… especially towards the females._ Cassian knew he only brought it to his attention to remain level-headed as he weighed the options of bringing Nesta with him. Not to bring her to the camps for his own selfish desires to be close to her, but to mix her in with all those Illyrian males, he’d be practically throwing her to the wolves… and she was already in a fragile enough state as it is. But she was her own person, free to make her own decisions. He would not make this decision for her, he would support her through everything she faced.  
  
So Cass just said, “Okay, sweetheart, let’s go,” and he picked up her too-light body and swept them off to the skies.  
  
That had been eleven months ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings are noted at the beginning of POV changes. Thanks!

Cassian  
  
  
When they had first gotten to the camp, he’d shown her the small cabin that they would be sharing. His and her rooms on opposite ends of the house, giving her as much space as he could.  
  
For the first two months, he had given her space. Which he hated to admit, worked out well for him while he had other matters to tend to in the camp. Often leaving her alone for days at a time while he had to fly far to other camps.  
  
The third month, he began their witty banter back and forth. Well, at least, he tried to initiate their light teasing, but the notion wasn’t returned.  
  
In the fourth month, he finally got her to begin training with the other females. In hopes that the physical activity would break down the emotional walls built up around her. He didn’t know what she was feeling, didn’t know how to help her or what she needed from him. He couldn’t get the faintest idea through their bond - if it was even there anymore.  
  
Roughly five months after being at the camps he’d tried to talk to her. Not tease, not taunt, not to order her to train, but to actually talk to her the way he’d been wanting to for months. Hoping that by showing some raw emotion to her, it would make her see that it would be okay if she did the same.  
  
He found her sitting in one of the lounging chairs by a fire in the sitting room reading a book. She didn’t look up from the pages as he crouched down in front of her, slowly pacing his hands on either side of the armrests of the chair. Finally, her gaze lifted from her book and met his.  
  
“Nesta,” he let out, his voiced strained and barely a whisper. “Nesta,” he tried again, her voice a plea on his lips, “tell me what to do, tell me what you need, I want to help you, Nesta, just please tell me how.”  
  
For a while, they just stared at each other, Cassian’s facial expression the picture of a hopeless male, Nesta’s was a blank, cold stare, before she finally said in an even, flat voice, “are you finished bothering me, or should I take my book to my rooms?”  
  
“Nesta, please- “  
  
She ripped herself from the cage of his arms and stormed down the hallway on soundless feet towards her rooms. Cassian did not see her until morning.

* * *

  
  
Nesta  
TW: Brief Mentions of Suicide  
  
She felt nothing.  
  
She was a ghost as she went through her day-to-day activities. She trained with the other females as she was supposed to. She read books. She ate the bland, tasteless food that Cassian had made her for dinners; yet she never felt full. She went for walks through the camp and surrounding woods. Never afraid of being alone. The males in the camp had long since learned that their hateful remarks and advanced towards her would just be met with an emotionless stare. _Let them try to take advantage of her_ , she thought, the beast crawling under her skin was just waiting to be unleashed. All the same, the beast was never called upon or needed. They had given up trying to get a reaction out of her.  
  
So had Cassian. After that wretched night where he had tried to reach out to her, he had not tried again. _Hadn’t he noticed that his hands on the armrests caged her in? Hadn’t he felt the brief panic wash over her body as she became trapped?_ That was the first thing she had felt since the war. And yet, Cassian had barely looked at her.  
  
He trained and attended to his business she knew not the extent of. When he flew to other camps, he didn’t tell her goodbye. When he wasn’t home to cook dinner for her, she didn’t eat. He hadn’t spoken to her in weeks, apart from the rare times their training overlapped. Never asking about her day or the book she was currently reading, he had given up on her.  
  
She supposed she could hardly have blamed him. Deep down she knew she had become a shell of who she once was. Deep down she knew that her grief and guilt and fear were eating her alive. She had pushed away everyone who was important to her. Feyre and Elain hadn’t contacted her in months. Deep down she knew that she should be more concerned for Elain. After all, Nesta wasn’t the only one who became an orphan that day.  
  
She was not there for her sisters when they’d lost their father. She was not there for Feyre when she had ventured off into those woods barely out of childhood. She was not there for Elain when she was transformed against her will into this beast of a body. She was not there for Cassian as he had lost countless of his warriors on the battlefield. She wasn't there for him as his wings were ripped to shreds, as his bones were beaten and broken, jutting out at horrifying angles and points.   
  
She thought about it often. Giving up. But she didn’t care enough to. These random bursts of guilt that she experienced throughout the day were always followed by the thought that she should just end it all and give up. If this monstrosity of a new body would even allow her such an escape. As if her new immortality would allow itself to be cut short. But still, she kept waiting for another emotion other than guilt. Waiting for the day when she would feel something, _anything_ , other than the crushing weight on her chest that made her hate herself and hate everything and hate everyone.  
  
She spent months waiting for that feeling, any feeling. Tried to make herself care. She threw herself at the males in the camp, though when they bed her, all she felt was numb.  
  


* * *

  
Cassian  
  
He was done.  
  
Done with Nesta, done with her grief, done with her cold stares and indifferent attitude towards him. Done with watching her sneak off with other males late at night. He was done caring.  
  
He threw himself into training and rebuilding the camps. He wouldn’t stop until they were fully repaired and until every female was treated with respect and equality. He came up with newer, harder training programs. More rigorous obstacle courses and more brutal expectations of his warriors, both male and female. By the time he was through training them, the males didn’t have enough energy left to taunt the females. He was relentless.  
  
He knew he might be pushing them all a little too hard. He knew it was probably a result of all the frustration and pent-up feelings for Nesta that he’d been trying like hell to ignore. Gods, every time he looked at her, something in his chest cracked. But every time he saw her reciprocate another males advances towards her, that crack was forged over with molten hot rage.  
  
That was his _mate_ , bedding another male. That was his mate, touching someone other than him. That was his mate, smiling - yes smiling - at another male, when he couldn’t even get her to look in his general direction. That was his mate, flirting with someone else. That was his – his nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

Cassian  
  
  
Cassian needed to fly to a camp over to deal with Devlon and his barbaric ways of running a camp. Not wanting them to be prepared for his arrival, he’d shown up unannounced. He’d just been there three weeks before, in no way were they expecting to see him so soon. Cassian almost smiled at the thought. Getting under Devlon’s skin was the closest thing he had to that back-and-forth banter he once had with Nesta.  
  
Except, when he showed up at the camps, he instantly knew something was off. It was too quiet; no one was training. Illyrian warriors and other Fae peaked out of their tents and windows upon his arrival before quickly ducking back inside. Only to emerge a few seconds later, running in the opposite direction of him. _What in the Cauldron is going on_ , he thought to himself.  
  
He quickly made his way to Devlon’s quarters and the Fae male paled at the sight of him. Devlon took one glance at Cassian, all the blood training from his face, the words that were leaving his mouth were instantly cut off as Cassian approached him. And he understood then.  
  
“Where is she, and who did it.” Not a question.  
  
Devlon stammered as he thought between trying to explain himself and trying to decide whether to deny what terrible fate had been bestowed on a presumably innocent female. “She’s in a cave, up the most eastern mountain, the males are still with her,” Devlon finally whispered.  
  
Cassian knew if he waited another second, he wouldn’t leave Devlon standing. So, without another word, he took off towards the cave Devlon had directed him to, as the killing calm washed over him.   


* * *

  
  
He found her, beaten and bloodied, in the hollow cave that Devlon had led him to, her wings dragging on the ground as they’d been clipped. _Clipped_. He smelled her fear and her festering rage as the males had prodded and poked at her ruined wings.  
  
“I know you’ll never fly again, but I can always give you a nice ride whenever you want it,” he heard a male say, disgust coiling in Cassian’s stomach as he heard the males suggestive tone. As if this female would ever willingly sleep with the male who clipped her wings.  
  
Cassian gave himself a few seconds to collect his thoughts before running into the mouth of the cave blind. He counted four males and the female, he picked up no other scents and nothing suggested that anyone else would show.  
  
His siphons blazing, he walked into the cave. It took the males a few moments to register his arrival, and before the first even turned towards him, his neck was snapped and he was dead. The second and third died by a cut to the throat, and he let the last male see him coming. Watched him as he was forced to accept his death. He saw the inner battle going through his mind, trying to decide if he should foolishly attempt to fight off Cassian or whether he should just fall to his knees and beg. He chose the latter.  
  
“No, please, you don’t understand,” he began, tears falling down his cheeks and a dark spot blooming between his legs as he pissed himself. “I was given orders, I had no choice!”  
  
“I give you orders. I am your General," Cassian ground out through clenched teeth, spitting with intensity. He took a breath, lest to not get too carried away. "You answer to me. I banned wing-clipping years ago. Your High Lord banned wing-clipping years ago,” Cassian said in a cool calm as he was still stalking towards his prey, “I heard what you said to her,” he said in a quiet voice, now standing before the kneeling man, “you want to give her a ride? Let’s see what you’ve got,” Cassian said as he made quick work of harshly clipping the male’s wings and grabbing him under the arms as he flew them both out of the cave, hoisting them up, up, up into the skies.  
  
Where he let go.  
  
Cassian watched as the male’s wings flapped awkwardly and useless. He heard his screams of horror and pain until they stopped abruptly as his body once again found the earth.  
  
Cassian flew back to the mouth of the cave where he immediately doubled over and vomited all over the stony mountainside. He hated having to do this work. Hated having to end his own men’s lives. But he couldn’t stop himself from punishing the male who took the freedom of the skies from that innocent and fierce female. He could sense her spirit the second he saw her in the cave. She reminded him too much of the broken female he left back home.  
  
Once he regained his composure, he walked cautiously back into the cave where the shivering female was curled up into a ball. Her eyes were dry and wide, though her cheeks were tearstained. Cassian knelt down in front of her, making her look at him.  
  
“They took my wings,” she said in a hushed whisper, disbelief, shock. “They took my wings,” she repeated, almost like she was trying to convince herself that this was real and had actually happened. Her eyes wide and blank.  
  
“I know they did,” Cassian said, “I know they did, and I am so, so sorry,” he stumbled as he realized that he didn’t even know the female’s name. “I am so, so sorry that I wasn’t here in time to stop them.”  
  
“It happened days ago,” she said with a little bite to her words, “there was nothing you could have done, no way you could have known or expected. They took me from my bed in the middle of the night, no one even saw me.” Cassian let her talk, feeling like this is what she needed to do to help herself get through it. “It’s Cleo, by the way, my name.”  
  
“Cleo, I’m Cassian,” he introduced himself, he saw recognition pass her face at his name and she quickly scanned his seven siphons, but before she could say anything he asked, “would you like me to take you home?”  
  
She was quiet for a while, considering her answer, before letting out, “I lived alone, I have no one. And this is not my home any longer.”  
  
Cassian understood, and nodded, before picking her up in his arms and flying her back to his camp.  
  
The moment his feet left the ground, and they were flying she started crying and didn’t stop until she fell asleep, hours later when they reached the outskirts of the camp.


	4. Chapter 4

Cassian  
  
  
Nesta wasn’t at the cabin when he and Cleo arrived, thank the gods. And though the thought of Nesta warming another male’s bed this late at night made his blood boil, he was relieved of her absence for once; he didn’t think Cleo would be able to face the wrath of Nesta Archeron today.  
  
He laid Cleo’s sleeping body down on the couch, laying her on her stomach so her wings would not be hurt any further under the weight of her body, and instantly called for the healer, Madja.  
  
He knew it was an ungodly hour to call upon her, and he knew that there was nothing to be done to fix the damage that’s ruined her wings, but he couldn’t just dump her onto his couch and do nothing else.  
  
Cassian went to his bathroom to wash the blood and bile from him while he waited for Madja to arrive. He changed out of his fighting leathers and put on more comfortable clothes. A loose pair of trousers and a tighter fitting navy shirt that he’d rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He grabbed the smallest pair of pants and shirt he could find of his and carefully folded it before returning to where Cleo slept on the couch and placing the clothes on the coffee table in front of her. Moments later Madja knocked on the door and Cassian let her in, thanking her for showing up on such short notice despite how late it was.  
  
Madja’s face turned from a smile to pity as she looked away from Cassian and to the sleeping Illyrian on his couch. It was always the worst kind of sadness you felt when encountering a female who had her wings clipped.  
  
Madja carefully took her beaten and battered wings into her slender hands and began her healing magic, sweeping her hands over Cleo's wings. The shallow cuts along the membrane of her wings forged together and smoothed over. As for the actual cuts themselves, Madja made quick work of setting the wings before they could heal themselves in any worse condition, and thus keeping Cleo from facing even further complications down the road. She had closed the narrow slits over the base of each wing, though the damage could never be undone. Cleo stirred a little as the healer did her work, but never woke. Before Madja left, just as the sun was showing the first signs of its arrival, she left Cassian with a numbing tonic and a healing salve to use as pain demanded.  
  
Cassian walked Madja to the door and thanked her soundly before shutting the door and turning to find Cleo sitting up and staring over her shoulder at her wings.  
  
“Who was that,” she’d ask him without looking up.  
  
“That was Madja, one of the best healers I know,” Cassian replied.  
  
“She must be good; I can’t feel them.”  
  
“She fixed you up the best she could, though the damage can’t be undone,” he said, not wanting to give her false hope that she’d ever fly again. “She left a tonic and a salve, do you need either of them now? Or can I get you anything else? You must be hungry-“  
  
“No, I’m alright right now, though I would really like to bathe if that’s not too troublesome to ask of you,” she cut him off, “I want to wash their scents away,” she finished, hardly in a whisper, before finally looking at him.  
  
“Of course, it’s just down the hall here. Can you walk?”  
  
She nodded and followed him towards his rooms where there was a spacious bathtub, big enough to fit his large body and wings. He began drawing a bath as he added a few drops of lavender oil and an oily mixture given to him by Madja the last time she had healed him for something he couldn’t even remember - but hoped that it would help heal Cleo, too.  
  
“So, you live alone?” She asked him, distracting him from the task at hand, nearly dropping the oil bottle into the tub.  
  
“No, I actually live with my m-” wait, no. She wasn’t his mate. She wasn’t his anything. She wanted nothing to do with him. She couldn’t bear to look at him let alone accept the bond. These thoughts swept his mind before finally settling with, “it’s complicated.”  
  
Apparently being more transparent than he’d liked, it seemed Cleo picked up on the gist of his thoughts. Amused, she asked, “so she’s your mate, but she hasn’t accepted the bond yet? Or maybe she doesn’t know about it yet?”  
  
His shock must be mirrored on his face because Cleo let out a light chuckle. _How did she pick up on that already?_ _How did she know about her not accepting the bond?_ “Relax, Cassian, gods, you should see your face right now,” she said with that light chuckle again. “I only know because I scented a female presence in the house earlier, but not here in your rooms, which must mean she doesn’t sleep in here with you.”  
  
Cassian gaped at how attentive to detail Cleo was, _Az would be impressed_ , he noted, but just nodded in answer. In a strange way that he wasn’t expecting, he liked Cleo’s blunt nature and little chuckle - despite everything she’d just gone through. She reminded him of Mor in that way. And he found Cleo easy to talk to as she got into the bath, Cassian turning his back towards her to give her privacy before sitting on the bathroom floor, his back resting against the tub.  
  
They discussed Cleo’s life before her wings were clipped and her camp. And she had asked him about Nesta, and Cassian found it such a relief to talk to someone about his feelings to someone other than members of the inner circle who were biased towards her. They spoke about her ex-girlfriend; they had tried to keep their relationship going when Cleo moved to the camp; but with her girlfriend not being Illyrian, it had kept her from staying too long in the camps with Cleo, and they found themselves drifting apart and eventually broke up. Cleo had said she still missed her sometimes, but was happy if she was happy.  
  
Cleo had dark brown hair, almost black and only a shade lighter than Rhys’ that came in gentle waves not quite long enough to reach her shoulders that she wrapped up into a towel after getting out of the bath. Cassian helped her into his clothes once she had dried off. With his current situation with Nesta and her feelings still there for her ex-girlfriend, he was instantly more comfortable in her presence, and her nakedness didn’t bother or excite him. Cleo had seemed to feel the same way.  
  
As he led Cleo back out towards the couch where she had laid down, Cassian taking a spot on the floor near her head where she rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, he found himself feeling grateful for the sudden and genuine friend he’d found during such a dark time in his life. With a slight smile on his face and his thankfulness for all of Cleo’s comforting words in his mind, he rested his head back on the couch cushion, and sleep found him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, folks! And one of my favorite to write. I hope you enjoy! All the feels, ugh.

Nesta  
  
  
She woke up in an unfamiliar bed, with a sweaty and snoring Illyrian at her back. His heavy arm draped uncomfortably over her chest. Rolling her eyes, she extracted herself from his grasp, and got off the bed to fetch her clothes that were strewn in a trail towards the front door of his little cabin, if you could even call it that. _Hut_ was more like it, she thought to herself as she made quick work of getting dressed. Afterward, she soundlessly slipped out the front door, not bothering to wake the snoring male, and began the trek back to her cabin with Cassian.  
  
The hut that she had stayed in last night was all the way on the other side of the camp than Cassian’s cabin was on. In the early morning sun, she was sweating after only ten minutes of walking. When she made it to the heart of the camp she’d stopped at the only tavern that was open this early and downed a glass of water.  
  
Deciding to make use of her time in the area she went to visit her only _friend_ \- she shuddered at the word - to pick up a new book to read once she got home.  
  
Her friend was on the front lawn, in front of her cabin, stringing up white sheets on the line to dry during this rare, nice day. She saw Nesta walking towards her and positively beamed. Honestly, Nesta didn’t know what she saw in this bubbly female, or why they were friends in the first place. It was probably because no matter how awful Nesta was, Olympie never felt anything other than sickening happiness. _Something was fundamentally wrong with that female,_ Nesta often found herself thinking.  
  
Olympie was a mated female and her mate was one of Cassian’s most promising warriors. He was currently training at another camp, so Olympie was extra appreciative of the company. She said as much as she put on some tea for Nesta and made her some oats for breakfast with fruit.  
  
Olympie was always going on about how having a mate was the greatest gift the Cauldron could have blessed her with. Or about how those who had mates should _never_ waste the time that they were given with ignoring the bond. _Subtle, Olympie._ Of course, Nesta had once drunkenly admitted to Olympie that she’d suspected Cassian was her mate, and she hadn’t heard the end of it since. Every time Olympie had seen or heard Nesta’s tales of her bedding other males she gave her a disapproving look that was honestly starting to bother Nesta. It was the only topic that ever got Olympie to shut up, she never wanted to hear or talk about Nesta’s outings with other males.  
  
But every time Nesta encountered a mated couple they never seemed to belong to themselves anymore. Nesta loved her independence with a fierceness and didn’t want that to ever be taken away from her. It was one thing that never changed about her even after the war. The one thing the Cauldron didn't take from her. The one thing her new body couldn't change. She had always been independent. Her pride never letting others do for her what she could do for herself.  
  
And mated couples were always so ridiculously happy. It was like they were always love-drunk and lusting after each other in public places. Gods, it made her want to throw up.  
  
She supposed Olympie was okay though, she was always happy and too ecstatic for her own good, sure, but she was quiet and reserved. And whenever Nesta saw Olympie and her mate in public or at the tavern together, they kept their lust in check. And Olympie had the largest book collection Nesta had ever seen one person – or Fae - own. It was larger than the public library at the camp, which was hardly a library at all. Nesta had already blown through every book in the library during her first three months here. That’s how she’d met Olympie. After seeing Nesta browse the shelves for something interesting, she had invited Nesta to her home to see her collection, and after seeing the awe on Nesta’s face, she had offered to let her borrow a few at a time; and they’d been seeing each other ever since.  
  
Though Nesta would never admit it, she was glad for Olympie’s company. It was the only interaction she had with another person outside of her training. And especially now that Cassian decided to pretend she didn’t exist, she took comfort that Olympie would speak to her about her day and books even though no one else would.  
  
After breakfast and a long talk about the current novel Nesta was reading, she thanked Olympie for her company and continued on the rest of the way home.  


* * *

  
  
Something was off when she first got to the cabin. Her being so new to her Fae body she didn’t know what it was, Cassian was back, that much was she was sure of, but she was picking up Madja’s scent. Worry flooded through her at the thought of Cassian being injured, but she never felt anything through their bond. And then she felt shocked that she was actually concerned about Cassian’s wellbeing.  
  
Cursing herself she walked into the cabin and froze.  
  
The sight that had greeted her had her stopped dead in her tracks. The book Olympie lent her fell forgotten on the floor. There, on the couch, was a female Illyrian. Her arm draped over Cassian’s muscular chest as he sat on the floor in front of her. Her face by his ear and they both breathed deeply in sleep. One of Cassian’s hands was over his stomach and the female’s hand was just barely grazing his.  
  
Rage like never before washed over Nesta. Her mouth went dry. She saw white blotches cloud her vision as she took in the too-intimate scene before her. Her feet were rooted to the spot, her body unable to move. An ear-splitting growl left her lips - barely a human sound. Though it wasn’t human at all, or even Fae for the matter, for the beast was clawing under her skin, waiting to be freed.  
  
The female was wearing Cassian’s clothes. His _scent_ was all over her. Practically marking her as his. A wave of possessiveness raked over her so strong she almost couldn’t breathe. Possessiveness and… panic, she realized, panic that Cassian had feelings for this unknown female. How long had he been seeing her? Her heart was a hammer in her chest and she heard its heavy beat in her ears. _Gods, what was her body doing?_ But she couldn’t calm her heavy heart, she couldn’t stop her breaths as they came out of her labored and gasping, she couldn’t keep her stomach from coiling and restricting at the sight of her mate laying so peacefully with another female. _Was this jealousy?_  
  
Unable to tear her eyes away, she saw dark, blue-black fog come out of her fingertips from her peripheral vision. Distantly, it reminded her of Azriel’s shadows or Rhys and Feyre’s dark magic. But where Azriel’s shadows were wispy like smoke, and Rhys and Feyre’s heavy like clouds, this was a darkness unique to her alone. She’d never seen anything like this, and she’d never conjured it up before. She had no idea what sort of magic was coming out of her now, but she didn’t care; not as it creeped closer and closer to that female on the couch.  
  
But then, there was a rumbling in the cabin, the plates set out on the table had been smashed. _Wait, had she done that?_ Then, the windows were blown out. The fog was now swirling around her, she could hardly see Cassian and that female anymore. As quick as her jealous rage had come, it just as quickly disappeared. Replaced by panic… and regret… and fear… and shame…and longing and guilt and sorrow and pain. Pain like she’s never felt. Every emotion she’d refuse to let surface finally broke free. It was like everything she had experienced since the war was finally coming to collect.  
  
The fog had now completely surrounded her; she was in the Cauldron again. Drowning. And just like before, she screamed his name. Begged him to come save her. _Cassian, Cassian, please help me, help me, Cass…_ But just like last time, he wouldn’t be able to hear her screams… as they were swallowed by the darkness.   
  
  
Cassian  
  
Cassian shot awake abruptly. It was like a dam broke open in his mind. All these months of silence from the bond connecting him and Nesta had suddenly roared to life, overflowing with thoughts, images and emotions. He saw himself lying with Cleo on the couch, he saw himself looking away from Nesta while training to help another female with her longsword, he saw the look on his face when he’d tried all those months ago to talk to Nesta. _Is this jealousy? What is my body doing? Make it stop make it stop make it stop._ He heard Nesta panic inside of his own mind. He saw Nesta’s father as his throat was slit, he saw Feyre when she was just a human girl walk into a forest, he saw a human boy try to force himself on Nesta, he saw a young Elain crying over something he didn’t know about. _I don’t know what I’m doing, make it stop make it stop, help me help me._ He saw Nesta’s mother braiding her hair when she was just a little girl, he saw himself crawling to her, his wings shredded as she was forced into that gods damned Cauldron, he saw himself beneath her on the battlefield, ready to end it all with her in his arms. It was like the floodgates to her mind were finally open. And it was overwhelming her.  
  
Cassian tried to get to his feet, but he couldn’t see past the images Nesta was shooting down the bond. He was blind. He couldn’t feel anything other than her rage and panic. _No no no no this can’t be happening I can’t do this,_ he heard her mind say. All he could do was kneel there, his head clutched tightly between his hands, his eyes screwed shut. Distantly he heard glass break, and wood splinter, she was going to bring the whole cabin down around them and he could do nothing to stop it.  
  
_Nesta_ , he let his mind say. _Nesta, listen to me, you can control this. You own this power, it belongs to you, you decide how to wield it. Will it to stop._  
  
“Cassian!” Gods, she was screaming his name, her voice was so hoarse, and he was immobile to aid her in any way. _Cassian, Cassian, please help me, help me, Cass…_  
  
This was torture. To hear her calling out for him, him, his mate needed him and he was petrified where he knelt on the floor.  
  
_Nesta, you are stronger than this, the strongest female I’ve ever encountered in all my years of life. Nesta you can control it,_ he was crying now, he felt the wetness on his cheeks. _Nesta, I love you, and you can do this._  
  
Everything stopped, the images, the emotions, the thoughts. It was like going back to how it was before the floodgates opened. It was like the darkness was sucked away into a void and clarity came rushing back to him. Nesta became closed off again. It was eerily quiet. The second things stopped he jumped to his feet and ran towards her where the black fog was still retreating back into her. She went lax in his arms as he cradled her head with one hand and supported her body with the other.  
  
“Nesta, open your eyes.” She didn’t. “Nesta, look. At. Me.” It was almost a growl. She had passed out. Finally, she opened her eyes, they were frantic as she took in the mess she had made of the cabin, back to him, and back behind him to Cleo. Upon looking at Cleo, her frantic panic turned back into a simmering rage. She bore her teeth at her. Her canines appearing much more elongated than usual. Cassian worried she would blast the cabin to bits after all. But then her eyes shot to his in an icy stare as she removed his hands from her body and stood up, rim-rod straight, her signature icy composure back in place, her eyes never leaving his as she moved closer to him. Nesta’s face mere inches from his when she leaned even closer, noses almost touching and growled: “you’re mine.” She snarled at him before shooting Cleo an equally cold glare.  
  
And with that, she stormed off to her rooms and slammed the door shut. Leaving a shocked Cassian and a bewildered Cleo in her wake.  
  
“I really wish you would have told me to not get on her bad side... before I got on her bad side,” Cleo finally said after a few moments of shocked quiet.  


* * *

  
  
He had no words. What in the hell was that? Should he go see if Nesta was alright? She was pretty mad at him, maybe he should give her space. No, he needed to explain, what she saw between him and Cleo wasn’t what she thought. To hell with that, he didn’t owe her an explanation, she wanted nothing to do with him before today anyway. _Did she want something to do with him now?_ Hope fluttered in his chest as he took in the possibility. He hadn’t dared let himself imagine a life with Nesta, a _real life_ , even as she started talking to others again. Never speaking to him, but at least in these past few weeks, she had made a friend.  
  
After checking to make sure Nesta didn’t do any further damage to Cleo, he finally gathered the courage to go knock on her door.  
  
He heard Cleo get up from the couch and as he turned to look at her she said, “go get her, tiger! Best of luck to you and all that, but if you’re going to talk to her I’m putting as much distance between her and myself and getting the hell away from this cabin,” she said in amusement. Her statement didn’t do anything to calm his nerves and for that, he just huffed at her as she left the front door.  
  
After debating with himself if he should knock or not, pacing in front of her door, he finally decided to just say fuck it and knock.  
  
It took a few moments before Nesta opened the door, looking as calm and collected as ever, like what had happened in the living room of the cabin hadn’t happened at all.  
  
“Hello, Nesta love, can we talk,” he forced a smirk on his lips as he glided into her room and sat down on her bed before she could say no.  
  
He had never been in her room before. It was so impersonal. A bed, a nightstand, a few books scattered here and there, but no personal touches that made it her own. The scene made him sad, her room reflected so accurately who she had been these past eleven months. An empty, hollow shell.  
  
He figured he’d begin this little chit-chat lightly, maybe teasing her a bit or making a joke about how defensive she’d been towards him. He had to admit, if Cleo hadn’t been there and in danger, the idea of Nesta getting jealous and possessive over him was almost flattering. He felt that Nesta became nervous through their bond, which he supposed was a good thing, now that he could actually sense the bond. And as a second thought, he figured that maybe teasing wasn’t the best way to go about for this conversation. She was clearly nervous and uncomfortable. As he sat on her bed and stewed over what to say to her, he really should have planned his speech before coming in here and looking like a fool, Nesta had cut him from his reverie when she said, “you said you loved me.”  
  
Cassian’s thoughts were instantly cut away from his mind when she said that. He wasn’t expecting her to call him out on that, at least not already. And technically, he didn’t say he loved her, he just thought it into her mind. But what is the difference anyway? He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t, so he just said, “I did.”  
  
“And is that true,” she asked, “that you love me. Is it true?”  
  
“It is,” he replied simply. Not an ounce of doubt in his voice.  
  
He looked over towards where she stood still by the door as silver gathered in her eyes. He stood abruptly, casting his pride aside as he went towards here. Reaching down he tucked a strand of her hair behind those beautifully pointed ears of hers, and when that lone tear spilled down her cheek, he bent and kissed it away.  
  
She muffled a sob before saying, “I don’t deserve you.”  
  
Could they actually be having this conversation right now? And how could she think such thoughts? Nesta deserved everything this world had to offer her and more. She deserved the sun and moon and all the stars, hell, she deserved entire galaxies. She deserved the mountains and the plains, rivers, and streams and entire oceans. Whatever this world had to offer, whatever Cassian had to offer her, she deserved it. She was both his equal and opposite in every way. She was strong, stronger than he’d ever been or would be. His seven siphons no match to her magic. They were both witty and beautiful. Both fierce and independent and headstrong. And where he was boisterous and approachable, she was calm and calculating. Two sides to the very same coin.  
  
With his hand still cupping the side of her jaw, his fingers moving up and around to her ear, he looked her in the eyes and said, “you deserve the world, Nes.”  
  
“How can you say that to me,” a stifled sob, “when you can hardly even look at me?”  
  
Was he losing his mind? Had she lost her mind? He didn’t know, “Nesta, the image of you is in a constant replay in my mind all day long. There isn’t a minute where I don’t think of you, when I don’t miss you.” He didn’t know where these confessions were coming from or why he was letting them escape him, but he couldn’t stop. “I see you walk to Olympie’s every week, and I watch you train, getting better and stronger every day. It makes me so proud. But watching you with other males isn’t something I can do, Nesta. It hurts me more than you could possibly imagine; that you willingly give yourself to them, when I’d do anything just to get to talk to you, to hold you in my arms or to have you simply look at me.” Pausing once more, he said in a quieter voice, “Nesta, please _look_ at me.” When she finally brought her eyes up to meet his, Cassian took a sharp intake of breath before continuing, his voice growing shaky, “and I don’t judge you, Nesta, it’s never my place to judge you. And I know it’s not my place to say so, but I just can’t sit around and watch as you lust away for some nobody who doesn’t treat you the way you should be treated, Nes. And I’m sorry, if I haven’t been here when you needed me, I didn’t know.”  
  
“So is that what that female was doing here? Was that my punishment for sleeping with other males,” her voice now laced with anger.  
  
Cassian took her face in his hands, “Cleo is one of my warriors from Devlon’s camp. She had her wings clipped a few days ago and her home was broken into. I had her brought here to see Madja and to recover, and to hopefully get a fresh start.” He watched as her eyes went wide and the realization dawned on her, “and she isn’t even interested in males,” Cassian told her in a softer voice, a smile threatening to show on his lips, “and I am not interested in anyone who isn’t you.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Yeah, ‘oh,’” Cassian replied as he cocked a scarred eyebrow.  
  
“So you weren’t…”  
  
“No, Nes, though I’m glad that the thought of me with another female sets you off,” he said, daring a chuckle to follow.  
  
“You idiotic overgrown bat! I could have destroyed the cabin because of you,” she said, him finally getting a rise out of her.  
  
“As long as it resulted in this conversation, Nes, you could’ve destroyed the whole camp and I wouldn’t have minded,” his tone serious again.  
  
“What is this conversation?” She tentatively asked him, her gaze once again meeting the floor.  
  
“The one where I tell you I’m done ignoring what’s between us, Nes. If you’re not ready to talk about it, then that’s fine and I’ll wait for you, after all, we do have time. But I know that there will be no one else for me, that you’re all there is now. And I’m okay with that. I understand that if I’m not what you want, I can accept that, too. But I can’t keep going around acting like I don’t see you hurting. I love you, and I’m done hiding from it.”


	6. Chapter 6

Nesta  
  
  
_I love you, and I’m done hiding from it._  
  
That’s what he’d said to her. In all of her life, Nesta had felt many things, but she’d never been at a loss for words. She could feel his emotions through the bond, his nervousness, and his fear but most prominently, his love. Cassian loved her, despite everything she’s put him through, all the horrible things she’s said and done, she couldn’t believe it.  
  
“Cass, I…” _she what?_ She had no idea what to say. _I love you too? This is too much? I don’t deserve you._ He looked at her with such intense passion, she knew he wasn’t lying when he had said it, she just didn’t understand how a male like Cassian, a good and honorable and genuine male, could love her. “I don’t know what to say,” her eyes welled with tears, but not from sadness, from… happiness. “I never thought anyone could love me.”  
  
“I do, Nesta. I love you. And I know you’re not ready to love me yet, but that’s okay, I can wait.”  
  
She just nodded as tears streamed down her face, he kissed them all away, and to her shocking surprise, she didn’t recoil from the gesture. He let her cry as all her emotions she’d been suppressing over the past months surfaced and she let them all go through her tears. She cried for her father, for her sisters, for all those they had lost during the war, she cried for Cassian and his fallen warriors, and she cried for the human girl who was turned against her will into a High Fae. When she had no tears left, Cass guided her to her bed where he tucked her in, and when he kissed her forehead and turned towards the door, Nesta pleaded to him, “stay.”  
  
Cassian just turned around, kicked off his boots and laid over the blankets next to her, tucking his hands behind his head as he looked up towards the ceiling.  
  
Nesta rolled on her side to face him. How had she not noticed the purplish-blue color that bloomed under his eyes? How worn down and beaten he had looked. He was still strong, ridiculously so, but he didn’t have that arrogance around him any more that had practically made up who he is. He looked broken. Her lip began to quiver and she knew that if her body could produce any more tears, then they would be spilling from her eyes right now. _Cassian_.  
  
He turned his gaze from the ceiling and met hers. He turned his whole body so that they now were both on their sides facing each other. “Cass, I am,” her voice broke, “I am so sorry,” she got out before she had to squeeze her eyes shut. She couldn’t bear to see his perfect, beautiful face while she thought about how much she had ruined between the two of them.  
  
“Nesta, look at me,” and she did, “you have nothing to apologize for. You’ve been through so much in such a short time. You were changed from a human and became High Fae, you survived a war, and the deaths of many people, you had to endure things that no one should ever have to endure, and you did so without bulking once. Not once, not until it was all over. You’ve taken your time to deal with what you had to, and though I wish I could have been there for you more, to help you through it, I know it’s something you had to learn to do on your own. I am so proud of how far you’ve come, Nes. You’re phenomenal.”  
  
She didn’t say anything, just looked at him with so much love in her heart. This day had been so emotionally taxing on her. _Hold me,_ she whispered through the bond that she no longer could deny was there.  
  
And as Cassian got under the covers, wrapping her up into his arms, her back to his front, she felt his warmth radiate through her whole body. She felt like she hadn’t been warm since she was human. It was such a comfort. And though she was already on her way there, Cassian whispered into her hair, “sleep, my Nesta,” and so she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, friends! If you like it so far, please comment or kudos, it means more than you know - especially for my first published fic. This is a finished fic, and I will be posting the rest this weekend, so stick around :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go!

Cassian  
  
  
Cassian was still in Nesta’s room, her small body curled up next to his muscular one, her scent surrounding every inch of him. He didn’t let himself even blink after he whispered for his Nesta to sleep, too afraid that if he closed his eyes, even for a moment, that when he opened them again he would wake up and realize this was just a dream. As Nesta’s breathing became more heavy and even, he allowed his mind to wrap around the day’s events and process what a turn of events had occurred. He knew that Nesta’s sudden relapse of emotions probably wouldn’t last, and when she snapped out of this vulnerable state, she’d go back to hating him and his heart would break once more.  
  
Casting his looming heartbreak aside, he couldn’t tear himself away from her. This was the first time in eleven months where she’d let him get this close, and he’d be damned if he let the opportunity pass him. He spent hours watching her sleep, her face relaxed from her signature scowl for once, and though he’d always thought her beautiful - scowl and all - he couldn’t help think how beautiful she was like this. Her guard down for once and her face set in peace. Her hair, still in its usual tight bun at the nape her neck, had started to come loose and a few strands had escaped, framing her angelic face in sleep. He wanted her to be this relaxed all the time, he wished she didn’t always feel the need to push those closest to her away and scare off anyone who could possibly care for her.  
  
He let his thoughts drift about all the things he wished he could have done differently, all the things he wished would have gone differently in general. He wished he’d had time to properly court Nesta, that their love story wouldn’t be tainted by war and death and loss and suffering. He wished Nesta was never forced into the Cauldron; though, he knew he was a bastard for thinking it, he was glad that Nesta would be around for a while, that she could be a part of his world, selfish as that may be.  
  
A little after midnight, he heard the front door open and close again, realizing that Cleo was getting back from exploring the camps. He heard her fumbling about before finally hearing her settle on the couch once more. Worry nagged in his stomach at the idea of Cleo and Nesta being met the next morning. He tried to tell himself that he’d explained well enough, that Cleo wasn’t a threat and that Nesta would be more civil, but Nesta was never civil. He’d have to find a way to separate them.  
  
Nesta must have also heard the sound of Cleo returning, because she stirred in her sleep before nestling closer into Cassian’s embrace. He held his breath while she settled herself in once more, not wanting to ruin this moment by breathing wrong and waking her up. She turned around completely to face him now, he had one arm tucked under her body before it came back around and wrapped around her waist. The other he had thrown over her waist where his forearm ran up her back and his hand had lightly rested on the nape of her neck, his fingers mindlessly curling the few tendrils of hair that had escaped her bun. Her arms were tucked in close to her body, one resting under her chin and the other resting on his chest, palm down as if she was feeling his heartbeat.  
  
“You should let out that breath you’ve been holding before you suffocate,” he heard Nesta say, deadpan, without opening her eyes.  
  
Indeed, letting out his breath and allowing air to fill his lungs once more he said, surprised, “Nesta, you’re awake. I didn’t want to disturb you.”  
  
“You suffocating to death would have been more of an inconvenience to me than having to hear your snoring, so relax,” she said to him, in what was probably the most reassuring voice she could manage.  
  
Cassian relaxed, not saying anything, as he was speechless. He still kept his gaze to her, her eyes still closed, fingers toying with her hair. She felt so warm curled up next to him, her body fit with his perfectly, like they were made for each other. He never would have thought that they’d be here. Her willingly letting him touch her, letting him drink his fill of her, trusting him enough to see her in such a vulnerable state of sleep.  
  
Suddenly Nesta sat up, Cassian’s hands dragged down the length of her back while she moved, finally coming to rest on either side of her hips as she sat on the backs of her calves.  
  
Nesta’s gaze pierced Cassian with such an intensity that he had to look away. He could sense her hesitance, wanting to speak but at the same time trying to tell herself otherwise, so he said nothing and just let her mull it over, letting her take the lead of whatever conversation they were about to have. After a few seconds of avoiding her gaze she spoke.  
  
“It’s like, after not feeling anything at all for so long, that one emotion - jealousy - just broke whatever was inside of me and brought them all roaring back,” she said in a whisper.  
  
“Yeah, I kind of got the same feeling. Like a dam broke open in your mind and a flood of emotions was the result,” and after hesitating, he decided to add, “I could feel it, feel what you were feeling,” he looked at her, “through the bond.”  
  
Her eyes widened at this, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you like that…” she trailed off and he let out a chuckle, “I didn’t mean to do any of that, wreck the cabin or hurt that female, I didn’t have control.”  
  
Knowing that control was something Nesta didn’t take lightly, she always seemed to be in control, and to admit to this weakness, Cassian didn’t know how to react. He felt like this conversation between him and Nesta was so fragile, so at risk of being ruined, and he didn’t want to break it.  
  
So he just wrapped his arms tighter around her, and pulled her closer. “It’s okay, Nes. And you didn’t hurt me or Cleo, I spoke to her and she’s totally fine. And don’t worry about the cabin either, there’s no damage done that can’t be fixed with a little magic.”  
  
Nesta simply just nodded her head against his shoulder and he ran his fingers through a strand of hair, tucking it behind her ear.  
  
After a few moments Nesta broke the silence again, _gods what is with this female tonight_ , he thought. Not that he wasn’t totally loving what was going on between them at this moment; finally getting to talk to her was something he’d been waiting to do for so long. “About Cleo,” she began, Cassian just encouraged her to go on with a low mm-hmm, “is she going to be staying in the cabin from now on?”  
  
“I’m not quite sure, as long as you’re okay with her staying, I am too. But if it’s not something you can deal with, I can arrange for other lodgings for her if you’d like. I mean, not that you can’t handle it, I just mean, so long as she doesn’t make you jealous, or- or set you off somehow. Not saying that she would. Cleo actually is a fairly easy to get along with female, just…” _gods why was he being such a blubbering idiot_. There goes the fragility of this conversation. “I’m just saying, it’s okay if you don’t want her here, it’s your home too…”  
  
Nesta looked like she was considering, “no, no she can stay.” Cassian let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He knew that things between him and Nesta were complicated at best, and he’d find somewhere else for Cleo to stay if Nesta deemed it, but he had to admit that he didn’t really feel like throwing his one friend out on her ass, mere days after she was completely violated. So, Nesta allowing her to stay was a relief. “She can sleep in here,” Nesta added.  
  
“No, Nesta, I wasn’t implying for you to have to move out, I can make other arrangements for Cleo in the cabin, she can-“  
  
“No,” Nesta said with finality, cutting him off again, “she will sleep in here.”  
  
“And where do you suppose you’d stay,” he asked, almost sarcastically. Anger lacing his words at the implications that she’d stay with another male. And to think, that after this night they were finally getting somewhere.  
  
“I’ll stay with you,” she said simply, like it was obvious. Cassian felt his jaw drop but didn’t move it to say anything, “in your room of course.”


	8. Chapter 8

Cassian  
  
  
Cassian woke the next morning in the same position he’d fallen asleep. Cradling Nesta against his chest, his arms wrapped around her middle. She was still sleeping when he’d woke, a little puddle of drool marking a spot on his shirt a shade darker than the rest. He let out a little chuckle at that, Nesta would blow a fuse if she’d seen it, and then she’d never lay with him again. So he shifted his weight slowly to the side, sliding Nesta off his chest while he rose out of the bed. She immediately grumbled something uninterpretable before wrapping her arms around the pillow he’d been using, like she unconsciously replaced his body with the next best thing. Leaning over he pressed a light kiss to her forehead and said, “morning, my Nesta.”  
  
Cassian, being used to waking at dawn for training, was up before the sun. After closing the door shut behind him to Nesta’s rooms as quietly as he could, he made for a bee-line to his rooms while simultaneously sending a note to his next-in-command to fill in for him for morning training but reassuring that he’d be there this afternoon. In his haste and while he breezed past the sitting room, he’d almost forgot that Cleo was staying with them. She looked comfortable enough sleeping on the couch, Cassian felt bad that he wasn’t there last night to gather whatever she’d needed for bed, but she seemed to find a spare pillow and blanket so he didn’t think too much of it.  
  
Running into his bedroom he made quick work of cleaning the place up. He had no idea when Nesta was planning on moving her things in here, or if she was still planning on doing it, but he could not let her see his rooms like this. And he wanted the room ready for her whenever she decided to. He made quick work of changing the sheets and making the bed, throwing out old cores of apples and remains from past dinners. He shoved all his dirty laundry into a basket along with his previous sheets and then headed for the bathing room. It was a nightmare. His sink had hair all over it from the last time Cassian shaved, he had dirty laundry in here as well. And his bath was positively disguising, with old dirt and grime and- _gods, is that blood?_ \- lacing the edges of the tub.  
  
He spent all morning in there cleaning his rooms and bath, and by the time he’d finished he had three baskets of laundry to get done and an entire bucket full of things to throw out. He’d even missed breakfast. Dumping his laundry off at the local wash, he made his way to his afternoon training, his stomach grumbling.   
  
  
Nesta  
  
She woke to an empty bed for once. Only this time, she felt a pang of sadness when she reached over and Cassian’s spot was cool. So he’d been gone for a while then. Huffing a breath, she rose out of bed and padded her way to the kitchen to put on some tea.  
  
Only to be stopped by a winged female, standing over a smoking pan of - _gods what is that supposed to be?_ Nesta stood, shocked for a moment that her usual, quiet routine of morning tea had been interrupted by this stranger. Leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen, she watched silently as Cleo tried to save whatever she’d been cooking. Cleo had her back turned towards Nesta, so she assessed the damage done to her wings. They seemed okay, for the most part, they hung limply from their sockets, dragging on the floor. Nesta had _never_ seen an Illyrian let their wings even graze the floor, a pang of sadness swept through her. A few scars and scabs were shown here and there on Cleo’s wings, a bruise or two coloring each, but overall, they were in one piece. That is, until Nesta’s gaze reached the base of her wings where they met her shoulder blades and Nesta realized what had been done. She may not have been born Fae, or be Illyrian, and she may not have wings of her own, but it takes no fool to see the damage that’d been caused there.  
  
Quickly looking away from the ruins of Cleo’s wings, she noted that she wore fighting leathers with boots. Standard Illyrian attire, worn with use. Cleo had short, dark hair that laid flat to her head and fell in waves. Simple, but no less beautiful. She knew from what Cassian had told her that Cleo preferred females, but she couldn’t help the thoughts that took over her brain. _Had Cassian found her attractive when he’d first seen her?_ Being attracted to females didn’t mean being only attracted to females, after all, Mor had been attracted to both, yet had laid with other males…  
  
_Nesta love, get those thoughts out of your head, I’ve never known you to be insecure… Do you need me to come back there to show you how-_  
  
Nesta quickly locked her mental shields into place, cutting Cassian off completely. She swore she felt a chuckle down his side of the bond. _Oh, she’d have to do well to keep those shields up._ Nevertheless, she felt slightly reassured by his comment.  
  
She was pulled out of her reverie by a stunned Cleo, having turned around and let out a surprised, “oh!” Curse the Mother, her face was even more beautiful than her hair. Still in that simple way of hers. Big doe-eyes, similar to Elain’s but much, much darker. Like Elain, she had a simple beauty too, but Cleo’s was… greener, earthier and wilder than Elain’s gentle beauty. Cleo was all wilderness and untamed spirit, you could just tell; while Elain was fragile, delicate, and feminine. Elain was the personification of a flower. Cleo was all dark features with pale skin that you could tell would become much more tanned and olive-toned once she’d regained her health. She was still taller than Amren, hell, everyone was, but Nesta had a considerable height advantage to her, though Cleo was a lot more muscular and defined.  
  
“I’m sorry to have startled you,” Nesta let out, “I am just not used to having anyone else here,” she said in her usual poised way, hands folded in front of her.  
  
Cleo let out a laugh, shaking off her surprise, “no, I’m sorry, I totally wrecked your kitchen. I wanted to make you breakfast to apologize for how you’d found Cassian and I yesterday. You must know I would never lust after a mated male,” she stammered out, “or any male, for that matter,” she added in a quieter tone.  
  
Nesta could almost feel the corners of her mouth tug up in a smile that was starting to form on its own accord, before she remembered herself.  
  
“Yes, Cassian explained the situation to me,” Nesta replied. She debated on apologizing for her outburst yesterday, but decided against it. She was not soft. She did not _do_ apologies. Better to let Cleo feel her loss of control was intentional, lest she ever gets the idea to cross her or Cassian in some way.

“How are you feeling,” she added instead.  
  
“Well, I’ll never fly again and that fucking blows, but it hurts less at least,” Cleo said without a bitter tone and without sadness creeping into her voice. She simply shrugged her shoulder and got back to scrubbing off whatever she’d burnt in the pan into the sink. Or trying to, at least.  
  
“I am… sorry… that this happened to you,” Nesta said, sounding as awkward as she felt. She may not do apologies on behalf of her own behavior, but what happened to Cleo had nothing to do with Nesta and she wasn’t cold as stone as to not have a little compassion towards the female. She knew how protective Illyrians were with their wings, how mistreated the females were, she wouldn’t wish wing-clippings on any Illyrian female, regardless of how annoyingly beautiful or easy to talk to they were.  
  
“Eh, it’s alright. I can winnow well enough, so I’m not incapable of transportation. I’m just glad you don’t seem to want to tear my head off this morning,” Cleo said with a laugh and Nesta fought back her guilt that was rolling in her gut. “Listen, I can be out of here by tonight, I didn’t want to impose in the first place and I can’t exactly crash on your couch forever, I’ve got a friend in another camp I can try reaching out to, I sent word last night of what happened, I should hear back by tonight.”  
  
“No,” Nesta began, “you very well cannot sleep on the couch forever, but your welcome to take my rooms as your own. I own very little and it won’t take me long to move my things out.”  
  
“But where would you go? I have the feeling that Cassian would kill me if I drove his mate away, please don’t do that, I’ll be out of here in no time,” Cleo said with urgency.  
  
Nesta inwardly shuddered at the word “mate” but said: “nonsense, I’ll be moving into Cassian’s rooms,” trying like hell to sound nonchalant.  
  
But Cleo just turned fully around to Nesta and with a cocked eyebrow and a shit-eating grin, not unlike Cassian’s, she said “oh?”  


* * *

  
  
After discovering the monstrosity that was supposed to be pancakes, Nesta took over for Cleo in the kitchen. Making them both tea and toast with jam. They sat around the kitchen table eating and discussing life in the camps. Cleo had asked questions about what it was like to be Feyre Cursebreaker’s sister and in return, Nesta asked about her previous camp. Cleo told her the story of her wings being clipped and how Cassian had found her. Nesta found herself thankful that Cassian was able to get Cleo out and a swell of comfort knowing that he’d made a new friend out of the unfortunate encounter. Nesta discovered that Cleo was close to one-hundred and fifty years old, but she wasn’t certain on her exact age. She was still considered young by Fae standards, and that brought some peace-of-mind to Nesta as well. She wasn’t the only one still figuring out her place in the world.  
  
Nesta was shocked at how much she’d admitted to Cleo. She told Cleo more about herself than she’d had even to Olympie, though it still wasn’t much. Cleo just had a no-bullshit attitude about her that made you want to open up to. She was less intimidating than Amren, but so much like Elain where you’d feel comfortable telling your secrets to. Suddenly Nesta was hit with a sudden urge to reach out to her sisters. She missed them.  
  
Picking up on Nesta’s mood and where her thoughts had taken her, Cleo started asking about Feyre and Elain. And the words just tumbled out of Nesta. She told Cleo how lovely and graceful Elain was, how much she loved to garden and how everyone was so fierce to protect the one that was most wholly good and pure. She said how selfless Feyre was and cunning and brilliant and artistic. She had a feeling that Cleo would get along well with her youngest sister, they both seemed to have that no-bullshit attitude and get their way. And despite having her wings ruined, Cleo still seemed joyful; just like despite all they’d lost in the war, Feyre had found happiness and now reveled in it. That conversation just brought up Mor, and she added another name to the list of females who, despite all that had happened to them, still seemed to find purpose and be able to laugh.  
  
Nesta got the most wicked idea that she should introduce Cleo to Mor, after all, they seemed like they’d hit it off right away. Mor had come out to the Inner Circle a few weeks after the war had ended. She seemed extremely nervous about it, but everyone took it in good graces and didn’t make a huge deal about it. It pretty much was a big dinner in which Mor had nervously planned with Feyre and afterward everyone just kind of nodded and said “that’s really great, Mor,” and that was the end of that. Nesta decided to save that idea for a later time and skipped over Mor’s sexuality when describing her.  
  
Nesta went over everyone in the Inner Circle apart from Cassian. Cleo just sat back and listened to Nesta describe them all. She laughed when Nesta told her stories of the three Illyrian bats and their idiocy, despite their political importance and battle skills, “their all a bunch of sensitive babies, I tell you,” Nesta had said and Cleo commented that she didn’t doubt it.  
  
Cleo briefly mentioned her ex-girlfriend, whom she missed but understood that they weren’t meant to be together. They spoke about her for a while and before they knew it, the sun was setting and both of their stomachs were growling.  
  
“I suppose I should remove my things from my former room and put them into Cassian’s,” Nesta had finally said.  
  
“Here, I’ll help you,” Cleo quickly chimed in. And with that, they were off to Nesta’s room, transporting the few books and items she owned and placing them in Cassian’s room. Nesta left her armoire for Cleo since she didn’t own much anyways and she and Cassian could probably just share his. She found a few empty drawers in Cassian’s room that were left open, as if signaling to her that they were for her. Cleo helped grab her dresses and things. At one point Nesta turned to see Cleo holding up one of Nesta’s very scandalous nighties, Cassian’s signature shit-eating grin once again on her face, and said “Nesta, I swear to the Cauldron, you’re going to be the death of that male if you wear things like this to bed every night,” and winked at her. Nesta couldn’t help the blush that crept onto her face.  
  
Rolling her eyes, Nesta got back to moving her things into Cassian’s room and before long, they were finished. Having accomplished her task for the day, Nesta and Cleo decided to head to the kitchen to make some dinner, their mouths watering.  
  
“Though, you should probably let me stick to the cooking,” Nesta commented, and not for the first time that day, found herself smiling.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we have awkward Cassian and sexy Nesta. I'm here for it, I hope you guys are too!

Cassian  
  
  
He was beat. After not getting much sleep last night, and skipping breakfast this morning, his knees were wobbly and his hands were shaking upon his return to the cabin. Much to his surprise, it was still standing despite leaving Nesta and Cleo alone for the day.  
  
He had felt Nesta’s happiness through the bond throughout the day during his training sessions and found it infectious. Though he had a tiresome workout, and some of his men really made him work for it in their sparring matches, he was happy when he got home. Happy, but still nervous. He still hadn’t really gauged what their conversation meant last night for him and Nesta. He knew it was a step in the right direction, but the thought of seeing her in just a few moments had him walking on eggshells. Maybe her joyous mood would diminish the second he walked through the door.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he opened the door to the cabin to find Nesta and Cleo sharing a bottle of wine at the kitchen counter.  
  
“Sorry, we couldn’t wait to eat till you got home, yours is in the oven,” Cleo called out to him from the kitchen.  
  
Mumbling his thanks, he set off towards food and - thank the Mother they gave him a second helping of everything. He didn’t even sit down before he dove into his food. Shoveling it into his mouth with his hands, mud and blood still caked under his nails; but no matter, he hadn’t eaten since the night before and he was a male starved.  
  
“Cass, slow down, no one’s going to take it from you. Wash up you disgusting brute,” Cleo said, sounding so much like Feyre he had to smile, “and you smell, too,” she added.  
  
Taking another generous bite so he could chew while washing his hands, he headed over to the kitchen sink to wash up. _Honestly, whose blood was this?_ Oh well, he was used to having to wash the blood off him after training sessions. Just another beautiful day in the steppes.  
  
“Alright, well I’m headed off to my fabulous new room, thanks to you, Nes. See you in the morning,” Cleo said to Nesta with a smirk. “Cass, will I be training with you or the females come the morning?” She turned to ask him after saying goodnight to Nesta.  
  
“You sure you’re ready to get back to training so soon,” he asked her, and when she nodded he said, “alright, if you say so. You’ll train with me tomorrow so I can gauge your skillset before deciding which rank to put you. Typically, the females train together but there are a select few who work with the males from time to time.”  
  
Cleo nodded and headed to Nesta’s old room before shutting the door.  
  
He went to sit at the table to finish his meal, Nesta still sat nursing her glass of wine at the bar to his right. The two of them, sharing this space together felt so… domestic to him. Suddenly he was caught thinking of another time and another meal, perhaps one she would offer him. A meal that signified her acceptance of the bond… He knew that she’d probably been the one to cook dinner tonight, but she still wasn’t the one who’d offered it to him. This dinner was just like any other, though, he was glad she was here to share the comfortable silence.  
  
“Long day,” she asked him, pulling him back to the present and stopping him from thinking about symbolic meals and mating bonds.  
  
“Yeah, I skipped breakfast, hence why I was such a beast upon arriving,” he said with a chuckle, “sorry about that,” he added, knowing Nesta religiously practiced her table manners.  
  
“Please,” she scoffed, “you eat like that half the time anyways regardless of your last meal,” she said airily, “it’s no shock to me.”  
  
He had to smile at that. He finished his food and set his plate in the sink before excusing himself to go wash before bed. Bed. The thought of them now sharing a room made his heart beat almost painfully in his chest, both due to happiness but also to nerves and anxiety. She migrated to the living room, which was open to the kitchen, before sitting down to read and sipping her wine.  
  
“I’ll be out here to give you some privacy,” she told him without looking up from her book, and he set off towards their room to bathe.  


* * *

  
  
Not wanting to smell after hearing Cleo’s comment earlier, he spent an extra-long amount of time in the bath than he normally would and even conditioned his hair. Afterward, he supposed he could shave his face, but the hair was not yet long enough to push towards roguish so he left it be. Cassian spent more time than he’d like to admit debating what to wear to bed. Usually, he slept naked, but he couldn’t exactly do that with Nesta sharing the space, so he settled for a pair of undershorts and some loose, thin trousers.  
  
Forgetting that he’d had to arrange his clothes in his dresser to make room for Nesta’s things, he accidentally opened one of her new drawers when looking for the trousers. Only to find a plethora of skimpy, lacy underthings. His mouth went dry at the sight and all the blood in his body rushed to under his belt. _Gods, this woman would be the death of me,_ he thought to himself, making sure not to accidentally send the thought down the bond. Reluctantly, he shut the drawer and was just pulling back the covers to the bed when Nesta walked into the room.  
  
“Are you finished in the bath,” she asked him and Cassian nodded as he climbed into bed. She gave him a curt nod as she went to the dresser, pulled out something red - from the drawer he’d opened earlier - and slipped into the bathroom.  
  
_Mother, help me,_ Cassian silently pleaded to the gods.  
  
Not wanting, while still desperately wanting to see what Nesta would be wearing when she finally emerged from the bathroom, he blew out the candle on his side of the bed, leaving hers lit so she wouldn’t stumble into anything before getting into bed.  
  
  
  
Nesta  


She had no idea what she was doing. She’d always slept in the delicate lacework of nightgowns and sleep sets before, oftentimes, only sleeping in a pair of her underwear. And now that she would be sharing a bed with Cassian, _Mother, save her,_ she wasn’t prepared to be modest for bed. When she walked into Cassian’s room earlier, she quickly snuck out the most inconspicuous nightgown she owned. And not to mention, he was shirtless. _That prick!_ Now, looking in the mirror at herself, her hair let loose for bed, and in the skimpy red nightgown that barely touched her thighs, and worked wonders for her breasts, she almost started to panic.  
  
_Nonsense_ , she thought to herself, _you can do this,_ sure not to send her thoughts down the bond to Cassian. She never really let herself think about whether she found Cassian attractive or not, but now, looking at herself in the mirror, her nightgown the exact same shade as his siphons, she couldn’t help thinking about him. He was beautiful. And not just in the muscular way you would think of as you first saw him. He was soft, too. Not what you would expect from a bastard born Illyrian, raised for battle. He was a gentle soldier. A compassionate killer. A soft warrior. A kind executioner.  
  
_Gods, get a grip of yourself, Nesta._ But she couldn’t stop thinking of the way his muscles constricted as he turned his back towards her to pull back the covers before getting into bed. Or just the sheer size of him, she felt so dwarfed in his presence. She watched in detail as his hands had gripped the sheets earlier, the veins in his hands flowing up his forearms where the muscles were bulging beneath it. She thought about his hands. All the horrors they’d probably done. But she knew those hands could be gentle. Could soothe. Could comfort. Could make her feel- _seriously, stop thinking about his hands._ Scowling at her reflection in the mirror, she flung open the door to Cassian’s room - _their_ room - and walked towards the side of the bed left for her.  
  
He laid on one side of the huge, four-poster bed, practically falling off of his side. Leaving her as much room as possible. She didn’t fail to note that he took the side closest to the door, forever the protective warrior. She climbed in her side and sunk into the softest bed she’d ever laid in. The sheets felt cool and crisp beneath her, and her head rested softly on the pillow behind her head. She couldn’t help the little sigh of pleasure that escaped her lips at the feel of it all around her. The blankets pulled up and above her the perfect, comforting weight she liked. Not too heavy as to feel suffocated, but not too light to not warm her through the night. After taking it in for a moment, pure relaxation on her mind, she turned over and blew out the candle that was on her side of the bed, resting on a nightstand.  
  
Now, alone in the dark, and with Cassian, her thoughts were finally catching up to her. The closeness between the two of them. She was surrounded by his scent, and _Cauldron did he smell divine_. Breathing deeply through her nose, she let it out as a sigh, “you know you don’t have to stay all the way over there, I won’t bite,” she said to him without turning to face him. She wasn’t sure she could handle looking at him without wanting to jump his bones on the spot.  
  
He didn’t say anything, but she did feel his weight shift the bed as he moved a little closer towards her. Still a good amount of space between them, but enough for him to actually make himself comfortable and to stretch out if he wanted to. Finally, she did turn to face him. He was laying on his side, facing her, his wings stretched out behind him and hanging over the side of the bed. His eyes were closed but she knew he wasn’t asleep yet.  
  
“Is it hard to sleep with your wings? If you don’t have enough space with me here, I can sleep on the couch. I’m sure we could figure out another sleeping arrangement, I can bring in one of the cots from the camps that the other warriors use,” she stammered, perhaps regretting her decision to move into Cassian’s rooms. Oh, this was such a terrible idea, he’d never get a good night’s rest with her taking up so much space. She shifted her weight until she was at the very edge of the bed, laying on her side to make herself as small as possible and to give him as much room she could manage without falling off the bed.  
  
“Nesta,” he said, his voice rough and strained, “don’t be ridiculous, you’re not sleeping on a _cot_ , especially now that you know how comfortable my bed is,” he said and she let out a breathy chuckle. Nesta decided that she really liked his sleepy voice.  
  
“How do you normally sleep,” she asked him, a whisper.  
  
“Do you mean the position? Or what I wear,” he asked in reply, his voice still hoarse and throaty.  
  
“Either. Both,” was her reply.  
  
“Typically I sleep in the nude, but I figured you wouldn’t appreciate that so here we are,” she heard rather than seen him smirk. “As for how I sleep physically, usually on my back, with my wings spread out on either side from under me. Keeping them tucked in so much during the day tends to be a strain on them. But in the camps, flaunting your wings all the time is just arrogant, or is seen as a challenge” he said, shrugging even though she couldn’t really see him.  
  
“So lie on your back then,” she said, her voice now sounding slightly sultry.  
  
“It’s really okay, Nesta, I can stretch them out laying on my side,” he reassured her.  
  
She sat up, bracing her weight on one of her arms while the other gestured towards his wings. “But they’re hanging off the edge of the bed! You’re going to get a kink in them if you leave them like that,” she stood up on the bed as to prove her point, “now lay on your back.”  
  
He shifted towards the middle of the bed, bringing his one wing back to the correct side and laying down with an annoyed huff. Gathering that he was settled in the middle of the bed, she climbed back up the bed, careful not to crawl on his wings. She settled her head into the crook of his neck, positioning her body between his and his wing and draping an arm over his chiseled waist. “Is this okay,” she asked him.  
  
“Yes,” he said strained, barely getting the word out.  
  
“Is it better or worse,” she asked him again and instead of answering her, he just nodded his head. She took it as meaning their new position was fine and that he was just tired and didn’t want to talk anymore, so she smiled to herself and said “goodnight, Cassian,” breathing his scent in deeply.  
  
“Sleep, my Nesta,” was his reply.  
  
  
  
Cassian  
  
What did he do to deserve this form of torture? Yes, he’s done some bad things. Some terrible, unspeakable things, but for the most part he thought of himself as a good male.  
  
Now lying in bed, with Nesta wrapped around him, he was fighting for control. Hadn’t she known how her scent had changed when she went into the bathroom? She was practically radiating sex signals to him. And he knew he couldn’t act on it, couldn’t respond to the signals her body was willingly or not screaming at him to do. And all in that little red scrap of lace, too. He’s thought so before, and he knows it won’t be the last time he’ll think it either: this female will be the death of him. Every muscle in his body was taunt. His fists and teeth clenched tightly as she pestered him question after question. Trying like hell to mask his scent and the evidence of his arousal at seeing and smelling her like that. Finally, her questions stopped and her breathing evened out, and slowly, he relaxed his muscles one by one. Slowly calming his irregular heartbeat and forcing his body to relax, he drifted off in a restless sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Cassian  
  
  
  
The next few weeks followed pretty similarly in that routine. Cassian would wake up at dawn, hate himself and his arousal that was evident every morning that he woke next to Nesta, train, and around midday Cleo and Nesta would join him and the other warriors. Every once and awhile Nesta would skip training to go to the library. Cleo ended up being one of the most promising soldiers he’d ever had the privilege to train, male or female. So once she was fully healed, she joined the males full time, despite the other male’s clear protest. And she even started adapting to the same schedule as Cassian had, training two to three times a day.  
  
He found that as the days went on, Nesta seemed less and less tense, and was laughing more. _Actually laughing_. Sometimes at something he’d said or done, sometimes for Cleo, and every once in a while for the random Illyrian she trained with that day. Nesta finally coming out of her shell and enjoying something, even if only for a moment, made Cassian’s heart swell. He also found them talking more. The three of them ate dinner together each night and sometimes would laugh over a glass of wine, Cleo would usually head off to bed first and sometimes Cassian took the opportunity to talk with Nesta alone, sometimes he went off to bathe, but it was their only alone time now that Cleo was living with them. All the same, it was fine. He was grateful for the chance to even talk to her, when not too long ago they’d gone weeks without speaking.  
  
Nights spent with her were still troublesome. She always wore those lacy underthings, but he’d almost gotten used to them by now. The sight of so much of Nesta’s skin showing would never cease to stop his heart in his chest, but the gesture was almost familiar at this point. They always slept in the same position as the first night, with Nesta tucked into his side and his wings stretched out under him. Sometimes he’d curl his wing in to bring Nesta closer to him after she’d fallen asleep, and sometimes he would wake like that, unconsciously forming a cocoon around Nesta in his sleep.  
  
Their routine, he found, would randomly bring a smile to his face throughout the day. Sometimes his men would catch him smiling at the memory of Nesta draped over him from the previous morning, drool running down the side of her face and he’d laugh; only to turn around and see his men giving him questioning glares and he’d have to remember to be the fierce Illyrian General that he was.  
  
His and Nesta’s time in the steppes was fast approaching the year mark. He couldn’t believe both how fast the time flew by and how much it dragged on. Starfall would be arriving soon in the Night Court and Feyre and Rhys said they’d wanted the two of them home, and that they could stay until after Winter Solstice.  
  
The few weeks of downtime in Velaris was something Cassian was very much looking forward to. Finally, he’d be reuniting with the Inner Circle and getting a break from these Illyrian brutes and some space away from Nesta. Not that he didn’t enjoy the closeness that was going on between the two of them, he just didn’t know how much longer he could take it without confessing his love and kissing her senseless. They hadn’t talked at all about the night she’d found him and Cleo together when he’d said he loved her, and hadn’t said it since.  
  
He had asked Rhys two weeks ago and asked if he could bring Cleo with them when they went to Velaris to introduce her to the Inner Circle. He’d even hinted that she’d make a good spy for Rhys, had Az needed another able person for the job. Both Rhys and Feyre beamed at the possibility of bringing a new member into the circle.  
  
They didn’t get to talk much, Rhys and Feyre only communicating with him through his mind and Az sending him notes every few weeks updating him on what was going on while he was in the camps. He’d seen Rhys a few times over the past year, but knew better than to expect Az to visit him, because he hated the camps with a passion.  
  
They were to leave in a week’s time, arriving in Velaris three days before Starfall. Cleo was practically jumping in her seat every time he mentioned their travel plans. Rhys, Az, and Feyre would come to the camp just long enough to winnow the three of them back home. Originally, Cassian would just fly back carrying Nesta, but with the added weight of Cleo and such a long distance between the camps and the city, he set aside his pride and asked Rhys for someone to winnow them all back.  
  
Now he was just getting the final things ready in the camp before the three of them headed off to Velaris for Starfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, comment, comment! Also, find me on Tumblr - sydebrown !


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have our first NSFW chapter! I was so nervous to write this, and had put it off for so long; but alas, here we are. I hope you enjoy ;)

Nesta

Nesta felt bad for not spending as much time with Olympie as she usually did now that she was spending more time with Cassian and had Cleo to gossip with and talk to when he wasn’t around. She was so grateful for Cleo’s presence, not that she’d ever tell her that, but she found such comfort in the companionship that her new and unexpected friend had brought her.

She did see Olympie sparingly around the camp, and it was always happy hellos when they’d run into each other, but Nesta hadn’t actually visited Olympie in several weeks. Not since she met Cleo for the first time in that unfortunate way of hers. Olympie’s mate was back from whatever camp he’d been at before, so that took some of the guilt off of Nesta’s shoulders as she thought of how little she’d spent with her first real friend since becoming Fae. And with the arrival of Starfall fast approaching, she knew they’d be leaving the camps in just a weeks’ time and she wouldn’t see Olympie for several more weeks.

Grabbing the book that she’d gotten for Olympie as a Solstice gift, since she wouldn’t be at the camps during the holiday, she made her way to Olympie and her mate’s cabin for dinner.

Olympie had made them chicken and rice for dinner and they spent the whole evening catching up over a bottle of wine. Nesta told her how she met Cleo and had made an absolute fool of herself with her outburst, leaving out the parts where her power overcame her, and how Cleo was so quick to forgive her it was almost too good to be true; but Cleo was just like that. She told Olympie how she’d moved into Cassian’s rooms and felt the blush creep up on her cheeks, which Olympie took as her green light to ask twenty questions about Cassian. _So did you accept the bond? Have you slept together? Do you love him?_ Nesta just brushed her questions off with a laugh and she realized that if Olympie had asked her those questions a few weeks ago, Nesta would have become enraged and would have probably stormed out of the cabin.

Sudden guilt for the way she’d been acting for the first eleven months of her new life took hold of her. Unable to stop herself, Nesta said to Olympie, “O, I want you to know how sorry I am for the way I acted when you’d first met me. I was overwhelmed, by grief and sadness, and self-hatred, and that’s no excuse for how I treated you and everyone else, but I wanted to thank you for being my friend when no one else would. You have no idea how important your friendship was to me during that time. How much I desperately needed a friend without admitting it even to myself.” Nesta finished with her head bowed and her eyes never leaving the floor.

“There’s no need to thank me, Nesta,” Olympie said, “I am so thankful for your friendship and am so happy to see you finally getting back on your feet,” she finished with her usual charisma.

As Nesta made the walk home that night after her dinner with Olympie, she thought back to her questions about Cassian. _Did_ she love him? She definitely felt drawn to him, and being in his presence always made her feel better. She’d grown used to sleeping next to him each night and couldn’t imagine sleeping alone again. He made her laugh and even though he was a stupid, overgrown bat, she was forever thankful that she knew him. And she could honestly say that she did know him. After spending the past year together, even though most of it was spent avoiding each other, Nesta had grown to know his tells. Knew which of his scents correlated to what mood he was feeling. She knew how to read his body language and knew he was attracted to her. And even though he tried to hide it, he couldn’t mask his scent that became more and more evident each night she spent next to him. And though he never meant to, he made Nesta feel beautiful, the way a woman – female - should feel. She knew she was High Fae now, but the way Cassian made her feel… _was that love?_ He made her want to be a better person and to stop pushing people away. She wanted him to know her, to know all her secrets and be able to read her as she could do to him; but the idea of that terrified her to no end. Letting down her walls to let him in was a vulnerability she didn’t know she could risk with him, but she _wanted_ to.

* * *

NSFW

It was late by the time she returned back to the cabin she shared with Cassian and Cleo. After arriving, she found that Cleo had already gone off to bed, Cassian was nowhere to be seen so he must either still be out training or he’d gone to bed as well. However, after quietly walking into her and Cassian’s shared bedroom, she found him fast asleep in their bed, sprawled out in the middle, snoring softly. She felt a soft smile land on her lips. She never usually got the chance to witness Cassian sleep, he was always awake before she was, and still, she usually fell asleep before him. So she took her time as she gathered her clothes before heading into the bathing room. On quiet feet she made her way over to the dresser, keeping an eye on sleeping Cassian. After she got her clothes she stood beside the bed for a moment, just taking in the peaceful expression on Cassian’s beautiful face. Tentatively, she bent down and ran her fingers through a strand of his long, silky hair before tucking it behind his round ears.

She regretfully left him as she made her way towards the bath. Still not over her fear of being submerged in any way, she grabbed the bucket she kept stored under the sink to pour water over herself rather than sit in the tub and soak. She undressed quickly before stepping into the bathtub as to not get water all over the floor. She had a few candles lit, but only just enough for her to see, nothing more; not wanting the brightness to show under the door and wake Cassian. She made quick work of washing her body, leaving her hair dry in a messy bun atop her head. Afterward, she patted dry and was just about to get dressed when a thought had occurred to her.

Lately, her mind had been so distracted with thoughts of Cassian. His hands, _gods she loved his hands_ , his body, his smile, that damned mouth of his that never shut up. And she hadn’t been with a male in a few weeks. A few, _very long_ weeks. She needed release. And the sexual tension between her and Cassian was borderline suffocating. She could hardly stand to be in the same room as him, let alone share a bed with him without throwing herself at him.

She let her mind wander as she sat on the bench next to the tub, leaning back against the cool wall of the bathroom walls. She thought about the way Cassian’s upper body looked in the sunlight when he would take his shirt off while training. All those lean muscles twisting and writhing beneath his skin as he moved and flexed. She thought about what it would be like for all those muscles to be focused on her, pleasuring her, giving her his complete attention.

Quickly, a fantasy brought itself to the forefront of her mind. It would be late, and Cassian would be the last one still training after everyone else had gone home. He’d be a sweating, panting, beautiful mess. His shirt would be long gone, ripped off of his body hours ago. His chest would be heaving up and down as he breathed in heavily, sparring with a dummy. She would come out to retrieve him and it would be dark. But before she’d break him out of his trance she’d lean up against the wall and just watch him for a while, soaking up all of him, before clearing her throat. Making her presence known. His attention would immediately snap to her and she’d get her first full view of his face. His pupils would be dilated as he drank her in, her standing back against the wall, dress tight across her breasts and he’d stalk towards her with a look of hunger on his face.

At this moment, Nesta lightly ran her fingers down her body, using only her fingertips, to trace down and back up again before circling around her hardened nipple.

In her fantasy, she and Cassian wouldn’t say anything, he would just press his body up against hers, pushing her fully against the wall. Sweat would drip from his chest and the tips of his hair as he looked down at her. He’d drive his hips into hers, their noses would be almost touching, and she would feel the hardness pressing into her between his legs. Cassian would tease her with the possibility of a kiss but not quite giving her just what she wanted… yet.

Moaning, she left one of her hands circling her breast, and dipped the other one lower. Using her middle finger to slide up and down between the folds at the apex of her thighs. The scent of her own arousal wafted up and into her nose and she breathed herself in. She dipped a finger inside herself. Slowly pumping in and out as her thoughts consisted of Cassian in her fantasy. Her breathing became irregular and she started panting at the same time that her movements became more sporadic and she’d lost her rhythm. _Cauldron, he was so attractive_ , and this was merely her imagination. Mother knows how Cassian would be in real life, and Nesta longed to get a first-hand experience with Cassian as he lost himself in her. He took up all of her thoughts, all her senses were of him. _Cassian Cassian Cassian_ , she could practically _smell_ him.

Just then, she heard a knock on the bathroom door over the roaring in her ears. And she realized, perhaps she _did_ actually smell him and it hadn’t all been in her fantasy. She had tried to keep quiet, she didn’t know why Cass was awake right now. With her hands never leaving her body, she answered “yes,” which sounded more like a moan than a question. Cauldron, he’d have to know what she was up to in there after that reply.

“You know, sweetheart,” she heard Cassian start, “I can make your fantasies a reality. All you have to do is ask.” She could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

_Oh, gods. Oh, gods, oh no._ She must have sent every thought of hers down the bond to him. She was so embarrassed she felt her cheeks blush and the tips of her ears grow hot. How long had he been listening? She was mortified.

“Nes, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” he said, his tone genuine, “I think of you, too.”

He finally opened the door to the bathroom despite her not saying anything. She was completely bare before him, but the look he gave her didn’t make her feel self-conscious, rather… beautiful. Sexy. Powerful. She gave him a once-over. He wasn’t wearing anything but a loose pair of sleeping pants and his wavy hair hung in a tangled mess framing his face. She didn’t fail to notice the impressive bulge that was growing beneath his pants. It made her mouth water. Something in her face must have given her away, because Cassian’s demeanor changed from guarded and hesitant to the general she knew he was, demanding power and control. He gave her his signature smirk before he said, “why did you make fantasy-me so quiet, my dear Nesta? You should have known I’d be a talker.”

Cassian

 _Mother, help him_.

He woke up to a phantom hand brushing his hair behind an ear that woke him feeling ticklish. He watched Nesta walk away from him and enter the bathroom. He figured she’d stay the night at Olympie’s; it was late before he decided not to wait up for her any longer and headed off to bed. Taking advantage of her absence, he decided to ditch the trousers and sleep in his preferred nude, courtesy of Nesta leaving him an empty bed. _Thank the gods she decided to bathe before bed, that would have been an uncomfortable encounter_.

Sighing, he rose from bed to put on a pair of pants and was content to fall back asleep, but that’s when her scent hit him. Her euphoric, captivating scent that made him want to drown in it. He had stood outside the bathroom door, listening against his better judgment to the little sounds of pleasure that escaped her. Gods, this was madness, he was mad. Drunk off the thought of her in there, doing what he knew she was doing. He was already half-hard picturing it.

Then came the visions.

 _Him_. She was thinking of him. Fantasizing about him. He couldn’t stand it. He placed two white-knuckled hands on either side of the doorframe, fighting against everything in him to go in there and have his way with her.

He heard her say - no - he heard her _beg_ him in her fantasy, _Cassian Cassian Cassian._ And that was all it took.

Quickly knocking on the door, trying his best not to pound through the damned thing, he’d heard her breathy “yes,” that sent his blood rushing to his cock.

He managed, despite the blood roaring in his veins and his suddenly too-dry mouth, to say, “you know sweetheart, I can make your fantasies a reality,” full of false-bravado, “all you have to do is ask.”

He prayed to the Mother that he was saying the right thing. That he wasn’t ruining the fragile relationship that was slowly forming between them. He felt her pause, her fantasy being cut off abruptly, before a swarming feeling of embarrassment. He tried to reassure her, admitted to her that he had the same thoughts about her. And after hesitating a few more moments, he gently pushed open the door and… and he was a dead male walking.

He felt - actually _felt_ \- his heart stop beating in his chest when he got a look at her. The few candles that she had lit accented her features beautifully. She looked like an angel, she looked like sin. She was everything. Her eyes heavily lidded, the flames of the candles setting the gold in her hair on fire, her hair already tousled and messy-looking, giving her a just-fucked look. Without letting his gaze linger, his eyes looked over her body once and he didn’t fail to miss the faint sheen of liquid coating her inner thighs, making them glisten like lake water in the sunlight.

Whatever look was on his face must have been enough to convince Nesta this was a good thing, and thank the Mother for that, too, because he didn’t know if he was capable to string enough words together in order to make sense. Despite his incapability of forming words, he’d managed to get out: “why did you make fantasy-me so quiet, my dear Nesta? You should have known I’d be a talker.”

He wanted to commit the look that crossed her face into his memory forever. She was shocked, but his words had turned her on in a big way. He heard her audible gulp as she swallowed, her throat must have been as dry as his. _Good, so she likes the talking_ , he made a mental note.

He could feel the energy between them shift, the space between them now charging with electricity as he slowly stalked towards her. She was seated on the bench below him, so he had to look down at her before stopping before her. Trying his best to reenact the way he’d prowled towards her in her fantasy. Gently, he reached up below her chin and used his thumb and forefinger to pull her up until she was standing before him. He pushed his hips into her so she could feel him, feel the effect she had on him, all the while only leaving a sliver of space between their noses. Teasing her with a kiss that was yet to happen. Just like in her fantasy.

Cassian realized that he’d run out of fantasy to follow, and would have to improvise. He wasn’t too concerned about that anymore. His usual male confidence was making a comeback now that Nesta’s arousal was evident and her approval was clear.

Standing nose to nose, Nesta took a deep breath, breathing him and his scent in, and the look that crossed her face was absolutely feral.

The next moment, they were a mess of arms and lips and tongues, their teeth clashing. Cassian’s hands roamed freely over her body and she moaned into his mouth as they grazed over her breasts and down her sides, reaching around behind her to cup her backside before hoisting her up. She reflexively wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the nearest wall. With her back pressed hard against it, there was absolutely no space between them, and Cassian wasn’t gentle as he ground himself against her middle. He still had his pants on, the thin fabric the only barrier between them, though he didn’t doubt she could feel every inch of his erection.

“I was under the impression that you wanted to be pinned against a wall, my sweetheart,” he said into her mouth, and she threw back her head so he could attack her neck, “and what my Nesta wants, my Nesta gets.” And then he was licking, biting, sucking on the sensitive and tender flesh of her neck where it met her shoulder. She let out a loud sigh and he thrust his hips against hers once more. Leaving one hand under her, supporting her weight and cupping her ass, he ran his fingers of the other hand up her spine before pulling loose the ribbon that had tied her hair up before fisting a lock of it at the nape of her neck as the rest fell loosely down her back.

His mouth never leaving hers, he carried her into the bedroom. He gently sat Nesta down on the bed where she quickly propped herself up on her knees and began to attack the string that was holding his pants around his waist. Gripping her wrists firmly, though careful not to hurt, he simply tsk’d his tongue at her. “No, my Nesta, this isn’t about me tonight,” he said to her, bringing his lips down to meet hers once again.

She gave him the most adorable pout as he laid her down and crawled up the bed next to her, tucking his wings in tight. He laid half on his side and half hovering over Nesta as his fingers made light work of running over her body. Finally breaking the contact of their mouths long enough to look at her; his eyes following his fingers descent. He trailed his fingers down her throat, through the valley of her breast, circled around her navel and paused just above what rested between her legs, asking her a silent question.

Finally finding her voice, Nesta pleaded, “touch me, Cass.”

And so he did.

He trailed his forefinger through the glistening slit of her core, spreading her wetness around. “Gods, Nesta, you have no idea what it does to me for you to be this ready for me,” he let out.

And it was only when Nesta’s hand palmed his hard cock over the thin fabric of his night pants that she’d said, “I think I do,” with a wicked smirk he’d never seen on her before.

“Gods, you’re soaked,” he growled, bringing his mouth to hers once more as he slowly eased that same finger inside of her. She moaned into his mouth at the intrusion, his lips swallowing the sound. And then he began to move. He let his finger slowly pump in and out of her, letting her body adjust to the movement before adding his thumb to the mix; using it to gently circle that bundle of nerves above her sex. His mouth began trailing kisses down her throat until it reached her chest, where he began exploring her breasts with his tongue and gentle nips of his teeth. When her legs began shaking, he added a second finger inside of her. He felt the insides of her walls clenching around him and knew that she was close to finding her release. Keeping a steady pace, he said to her, “that’s it, baby, feel me.” She began thrusting her hips upwards to meet his fingers as they pumped into her, she brought a hand up to tug roughly at his hair, her legs still shaking. He felt her whole body tense up and he said: “come for me, my Nesta, come for me.”

And with a shuddering cry that might have been his name, she did. He kept moving his fingers in the same steady rhythm throughout her climax. Coaxing her until she came down from the high of it. Her body visibly relaxed as she sagged next to him when she was finished, placing a light kiss on his jaw in thanks.

When she made to get up to straddle him, he simply scooped her up in his arms and tucked her body under the covers. She looked like she was about to protest, so he just chuckled under his breath as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. He let out a, “sleep, my Nesta,” before rising to go blow out the candles that were still burning in the bathroom before returning to the bed to tuck her into his arms and fall asleep.

* * *

Cassian woke the next morning with Nesta tightly clinging to his body, his wings having a mind of their own had made a cocoon around them as they’d slept. He took one look at her kiss-swollen lips and decided for the second time that year to skip his morning training. He sent word once again to his next-in-command and also to Cleo, letting her know not to wait up on him. After the night they’d had, he just couldn’t pull himself away from her.

He lazily drew circles up her bareback, she never dressed last night after her bath and they were now skin-to-skin – save for the parts of him that were covered by his sleeping pants. She stirred when his fingers reached the tops of her ears, pulling herself closer to him while she slept. He spent his time watching her sleep, committing her features to memory as the early glow of the morning sun filtered its way through the window.

A little after sunrise, Nesta stirred once more, only to fully wake this time.

“What are you still doing here, bat? Don’t you have an army to command?”

He smiled as he looked up at the ceiling, “I have a very beautiful female lying naked in my bed, the armies can wait. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Scoffing, Nesta sat up and stretched her arms up and over her head, showcasing her beautiful, plump, perfectly rounded breasts, her nipples hardened…

“See something you like,” she asked as she brought her arms back down, that same she-devil smirk on her lips from last night.

Now that she’d brought her arms down, it did little to keep his arriving arousal at bay. Now her arms just seemed to push them closer together. _Cauldron, boil and fry me_ , he thought. He tried to swallow, but found that his mouth had suddenly gone completely dry, making him practically choke out his next words, “I… uh, what?”

She just laughed as she rose from the bed, walking away from him as she made her way towards the bathroom.

He remained in bed, trying to talk himself down from the wicked thoughts that were now whirling around in his head. She appeared a few moments later, still gloriously naked, but now her hair was in a neat braid and her face had been washed. She sauntered over to their shared dresser where she got out her clothes for the day and dressed. Cassian never taking his eyes off her once.

“You want breakfast,” she asked him as she pulled a shirt over her head and Cassian’s eyes went wide, but she just continued dressing. _She probably didn’t even mean to offer it_ , he thought, _she’s just being polite,_ or _she said it without thinking of what it meant_.

His stomach was rolling as a grumble threatened to be heard, but he just answered: “I’ll just stick with coffee for today.”

Nesta simply nodded and headed off towards the kitchen.


	12. Chapter 12

Nesta  
  
  
The next week passed quickly. Nesta and Cassian always tip-toeing around each other, with Cleo as a comfortable barrier between them. If she noticed the tension between them, she said nothing about it. There were no more sexual encounters between Nesta and Cassian apart from that one night. Though, Nesta hated to admit she thought about it often, she wished he’d just kiss her again.  
  
The following day, Rhys, Feyre, and Az were to winnow into camp to bring them back to Velaris. Nesta couldn’t wait, however, her nervousness was eating at her alive. She was worried that after looking so forward to seeing her sisters, Feyre and Elain wouldn’t feel the same. That those in the Inner Circle would find her return to be a burden. Her and Cleo had already packed what little belongings they would be taking with them back to the city, so all she had to do was wait. Though she was full of restless energy, she thought about going to train, but didn’t want to see Cassian any more than what was absolutely necessary.   
  
So she sat, nursed a cup of tea and watched the sun move across the sky from their front window. Cassian was away making sure everything was set for his leave. Cleo had gone to train and Nesta hadn’t seen her since breakfast. She did everything to settle her nerves. She had already packed, she cleaned, she made tea, she read an entire novel, sat on the porch and watched the camp members as their day went on. It was peaceful, yet she still was restless. Tomorrow and Feyre couldn’t come soon enough.  


* * *

  
  
Cassian returned an hour after sunset, Cleo’s booming laugh following close behind. Nesta had left dinner out on the table and was sitting in the front room by the fire reading. They were laughing about something that had happened while training. Nesta, not wanting to impose, rose to go get ready for bed. The sooner she could fall asleep, the sooner tomorrow would arrive and she could get away from Cassian and his… his… she could just get away from Cassian. She needed space away from him, to sort out these thoughts she was having.  
  
Cleo dropped herself down on the couch next to where Nesta just got up from. “What’s the rush, Nes? We’re not trying to run you out, stay and talk for a while, we’re roommates and I’ve hardly seen you lately.” An exaggerated pout. “Plus, it’s our last night here for a while, drink with us!”  
  
_Oh gods._ Nesta was definitely not getting drunk with Cassian and Cleo, no way. “Uh… I’m pretty tired, I think I’m just going to head off to bed,” she said while backing away from them. She murmured a “goodnight,” finally turning and headed towards her and Cassian’s shared bedroom.  
  
After she washed her face and dressed for bed, she was just about to crawl under the sheets when Cassian walked in the room, closing the door behind him as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
“What’s wrong, Nes?”  
  
“Nothing,” she answered too quickly.  
  
“You’ve been avoiding me.”  
  
“Nonsense, I’ve just been busy.”  
  
“Oh, yeah? What’d you do today, Nes,” he asked cocking a brow.  
  
“You know, I packed and-”  
  
“You packed days ago.”  
  
“- and I cleaned the cabin a bit, and went for a walk and then-”  
  
“Oh, so you went on a walk. How come I didn’t see you on your little stroll then? I was in the center of the camp all day,” he answered, amused, but with serious undertones.  
  
Nesta huffed a breath. “Gods, Cassian. I’m tired, can you just let me go to sleep?”  
  
“Is this about what happened the other night?”  
  
Nesta felt her cheeks flush as she tried to keep her face neutral. Too many responses were on the tip of her tongue, yet she still didn’t have a good enough excuse. _Of_ _course_ it was about what happened the other night. The line that they had been dancing around these past few weeks had finally crossed over into something else, something _more_. Something so unfamiliar to Nesta, she had no idea what she was doing. Didn’t have the slightest clue on how to deal with these feelings she was having, much to her own horror. She wanted Cassian to stay away, she wanted him closer. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to wash her mouth out with soap and never think about him again. She was so conflicted, the only thing she was absolutely sure of, was that she couldn’t think when she was with him. So any chance of her figuring it out was thrown out the window whenever he was around… which was always… because they lived together and slept together in the same gods damned bed.   
  
She realized that she’d been standing there with her mouth agape, still struggling to find an answer suitable enough to make him drop the conversation; so she settled with a sigh and said, “look, Cass, I really am tired, I’m nervous about seeing everyone again tomorrow and I just - I just want to go to bed.” Not entirely a lie.  
  
He looked doubtful, but finally uncrossed his arms and made his way over to the bed. Shrugging off his boots and pulling his shirt over his head. “Alright, Nes, if you say so.” Now he was just standing in his pants, without a shirt on as he began working at his weapons belt. Nesta tried to keep her eyes downcast but she couldn’t help staring at him as he stripped. His weapons belt hit the floor with a thud. He clambered into bed and said, “I guess I’ll turn in early, too. Probably best to get a good night's sleep before returning home tomorrow. Goodnight, Nesta.”  
  
“Goodnight, Cassian.”  
  
Neither of them slept.  


* * *

  
  
Nesta rolled out of bed as early as she possibly could without it still being considered “night.” By the time Cassian got out of bed she had already had two cups of tea, was dressed and ready, and had begun wearing down the carpet in the sitting room from pacing.  
  
“Nes, I’ve never seen you have this much energy this early,” he said while rubbing the back of his neck. “Actually, I’ve never even seen you up this early at all, it’s still before dawn,” he added with a smirk.  
  
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said flatly.  
  
Cassian just nodded his head as he made his way over to the kitchen, or more specifically, to the coffee beans. “Have you eaten yet,” he asked her and she shook her head, raising her teacup in her hands to indicate that’s all she had. “I’ll make us all something, then,” he answered as he got to work at getting out ingredients for breakfast. Nesta continued her pacing for a few more minutes before asking,  
  
“What time did Rhys say they’d be here,” she asked him.  
  
“He said around mid-morning,” Cassian replied without looking up from the stovetop.  
  
Nesta just nodded her head, although she knew Cassian didn’t see her as she did so.  
  
Cleo practically skipped into the kitchen, “oh, do I smell bacon,” she asked as she picked up a piece from Cassian’s done pile and shoved it into her mouth. “Oh, general! I do so love you and your cookin’!” Cassian fixed her with a cool stare as she grabbed another piece, and he jokingly stole the plate from her, placing it on a high shelf in the kitchen he knew she couldn’t reach.  
  
Nesta felt her feet falter, but corrected herself quickly before the two of them could notice. She knew that Cleo’s love for Cassian wasn’t sexual or romantic, but still, she couldn’t help but tense over her words. Gods, why was she being so irrational over this? It’s _just_ Cleo, she told herself. But, _how many other females had been attracted to Cassian over the centuries? Mother, how many females had_ he _been attracted to?_ Surely he’s had more lovers than Nesta could even begin to fathom. He was undoubtedly beautiful, even if he wasn’t everyone’s preferred type, one couldn’t deny that he was attractive.  
  
Nesta began pacing for a whole new reason now. _Stop thinking out Cassian_ , she chided herself. She repeated that over and over in her mind until it became a mantra. But even as she did so, she could hear the roaring in her ears start to bubble up as she became overwhelmed and threatened to lose control of her powers. Sure enough, little grey tendrils of smoke began slithering from her fingertips. Not enough to harm, but enough that if she didn’t calm herself down, could quickly manifest into something deadly.  
  
Faster than she could track with her eyes, Cassian became a wall in her path and her body slammed into his. His hands came around her wrists as he gazed down at her.  
  
“Control it,” he told her. His voice was low, but stern. Not a voice used to intimidate, but one he used rarely. When he wasn’t sure what to do in a situation. Whether or not he should try to restrain her from causing any damage to herself or those around her, or just to let her figure it out on her own.  
  
Nesta was in full-blown panic mode. Her eyes darted everywhere, trying to find something other than Cassian to focus on. Cleo stood, shock-still in the kitchen, her hips still leaning up against the counter in the last place Nesta had seen her in. But Nesta didn’t want to look at the fear in Cleo’s eyes, it would just make this worse. Nesta had no control and she was panicked.  
  
“Nesta, look at me,” he said in that same voice. She snapped her gaze to his, her eyes volleying back and forth between his own. “Focus on me,” he said, his voice a bit softer now, like he was trying to calm a wounded animal.  
  
She focused on him then. His face held zero traces of fear in it, it was the picture of calm. He was totally in control. He let the grip on her wrists loosen just a fraction, and she watched her hands as the grey tendrils of smoke retreated back into her fingertips.  
  
They stood there for a while as Nesta’s senses returned to her. It was like she was drowning and only now did she feel her body start to float towards the surface. She felt Cassian’s hands around her wrists first, then inhaled his honey and clove scent, followed by the sound of the even beats of his heart.  
  
Cleo had turned her back to them, tending to the food Cassian was cooking and allowing them this moment in relative privacy. Nesta and Cleo had never discussed the connection she felt towards Cassian, but knew she didn’t have to with Cleo; though she was sure the busybody would gladly gossip about their general, should Nesta initiate it. Nesta was thankful for Cleo then, that she’d tried to give her privacy with Cassian. Knowing that vulnerability was one of Nesta’s biggest weaknesses and insecurities.  
  
Cassian’s gaze never left Nesta’s face and she inhaled deeply and let out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry,” she said when all the air was out of her lungs. “I don’t know why that happened.”  
  
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Nesta, or anything to be embarrassed about either. We all lose control of our powers sometimes, and you’re new to this. Plus, you’re under a lot of stress right now with returning home and living here and-” she knew he was going to say something about what was going on between them, but reluctantly stopped himself. “Maybe when we get back to Velaris, Amren or Feyre can start training you on honing in your powers and controlling it. There’s no weakness in getting help, Nes.”  
  
“I know,” she said quietly. “It just can be a bit much sometimes, and whenever this happens I feel so vulnerable afterward, which, I’m sure you can imagine, is not something I particularly enjoy. And I know it happens, but it’s no less embarrassing when it does.” Realizing that she was throwing herself a pity party, she abruptly stopped, slid on that cool mask of indifference and said, “I think I’ll just go freshen up quickly before they get here. It should be soon, now,” as she turned on her heel and headed towards the bathing room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian reunite with the Inner Circle and Cleo visits Velaris for the first time.

Nesta  
  
  
Nesta splashed some cool water on her face and exited the bathroom. She stood in her and Cassian’s now empty bedroom and reflected on her time spent here. She realized she’d come farther than she imagined she would. When she and Cassian had first left for the steppes, she had been content to fade into nothing. Perhaps Cassian would grow tired of her and leave her be and her sisters would pointedly ignore her and forget that she existed. Maybe she’d drink herself to death or wither away until everyone who ever knew her didn’t think of her again.  
  
But, now? Now, Nesta was actually looking forward to something. An excited thrill went through her bones when she thought about how soon she would be united with her sisters. Especially Elain, but Feyre, too. And much to her own surprise, she was excited to see Rhys and Mor, and even quiet Azriel and intimidating Amren. She had made friends here in the camp. She would miss Olympie during her weeks in Velaris and was glad that Cleo could be accompanying them. She had grown used to Cassian being around, and even began to enjoy his presence. Maybe she enjoyed it a bit too much, but she felt like it was finally time to give herself some credit for what she accomplished in her time away from everyone. Everyone except Cassian.  
  
Nesta couldn’t get her thoughts straight about Cassian. She was attracted to him, that much she could no longer deny. But the emotional tether she felt towards him, that’s what she couldn’t deal with. What if Cassian didn’t want to be with her the way she could possibly want to be with him? He would break her heart in two and Nesta _knew_ , with absolute certainty that she would not survive her heart breaking a second time. And to even allow Cassian that much sway over her - to put him in a position of power over her heart, that went against everything her pride told her to do.  
  
Cassian hadn’t asked her to go with him a year ago when they left Velaris for the camps. She’d practically sprung it on him last minute. Plus, he was obligated to look out for her; surely his kind-heartedness and compliments were just a part of his easy nature. It didn’t mean he was _in love_ with her, Mother forbid. No, these feelings were definitely one-sided, there was no way Cassian could return any of the feelings she had towards him. She would just have to get through these next few weeks, maybe some space from him would sort her out and she’d stop feeling like this.  
  
A quick knock on the door broke her out of her reverie. Cassian stood in the open doorway, with a sad smile on his face. How long had he been there?  
  
“You ready to go,” he asked her. “Rhys said they’d be here in about five minutes,” he added, tapping two fingers to his temple to explain the telepathic conversation between the two of them.  
  
“Oh, yes,” she said, collecting herself once more, “I’ll be right out.”  
  
She joined a bouncing Cleo and a smirking Cassian in the sitting room moments later. Her clammy hands twisting in her lap with nervous energy at the thought of seeing Feyre in just a few minutes.  
  
All nervous thoughts flew out of her head as Feyre appeared before her, her feet barely materializing on the floor before she was practically tackling Nesta to the ground with an excited squeal.  
  
“Nesta! I missed you so much,” Feyre exclaimed as Nesta was half bent over backward, supporting the majority of Feyre’s weight as she held her in a bone-crushing hug. Little laughs escaped Nesta when she finally caught her breath again and she returned the gesture.  
  
When Nesta and her sister finally untangled themselves, Cassian was clapping Rhys on the shoulder and making the introductions to Cleo. Az was quietly standing behind Rhys as he just nodded in acknowledgment when Cass introduced him. _Typical_ , Nesta thought as she shook her head from side to side with a playful roll of her eyes.  
  
Feyre was positively beaming when she was introduced to Cleo and she quickly wrapped her in a hug that was only slightly looser than Nesta’s was.  
  
“So I see that _you’re_ the approachable Archeron sister,” Cleo teased Feyre with a happy giggle.  
  
“Oh please,” Feyre answered before adding, “Elain’s good company, too.” She released herself from Cleo and threw a smirk towards Nesta.  
  
“Alright, alright,” Nesta said, holding her hands up in mock surrender. “If you two are finished now, I’d like to go home.”  
  
Home. She realized it was the first time she used that word to describe Velaris. That same, small smile took place once again on her lips at the thought. She looked up to find similar smiles on Feyre, Rhys, and Cassian’s faces. Even Azriel’s usual scowl had shifted to something less threatening, more relaxed.   
  
Feyre and Cleo had paired up, the two of them taking to each other like moths to a flame, and Cassian took Azriel’s scarred hand, leaving her and Rhys. He held out his arm to her with an exaggerated bow and said, “shall we?”  
  
Nesta squeezed her eyes shut tightly as Rhys winnowed the two of them to Velaris. Mor and Amren were there waiting, but Nesta’s sights flew straight to Elain. Her eyes lit up like the moon when she saw Nesta.  
  
Not thinking twice about it, Nesta detangled herself from Rhys and sprinted towards her little sister. This time, the two of them did fall all the way to the ground; Elain’s small frame not being able to remain upright with the momentum Nesta hit her with.  
  
Elain was half laughing-half crying and holding Nesta tight. Nesta was overwhelmed with the feeling of homesickness at reuniting with her sister. The smell of dirt and plants and sunshine and sweat engulfed her as her face found the crook of Elain’s neck.  
  
When they pulled away enough to look the other over, Nesta found that her cheeks were wet with happy tears. Double and triple checking that Elain was happy and healthy and whole and without harm, Nesta found nothing amiss about her middle sister. In fact, Elain was practically glowing with happiness. She was wearing a simple sundress that went down almost far enough to reach her ankles and was printed with little lemon branches and leaves. Her hair was longer than the last time Nesta had seen her, but not as long as Feyre’s had grown, and was half up, a braid running down the middle of her back lost in a sea of curls.  
  
“I missed you so much Nesta, there has been so much I’ve been wanting to tell you! I moved into my own little apartment and since it’s on the top floor I have access to the roof and I’ve made the cutest little garden beds up there. Azriel helped me make them and sometimes they fly me up to the House of Wind and I work there,” Elain kept babbling on about everything her and Azriel and Feyre had done in the past year, but Nesta stopped listening to the words and just focused on the sound of her middle sister’s voice. She missed it so much. Nesta let her eyes close as she soaked it all in.  
  
Elain's sweet and excited voice, the smell of earth that surrounded her. Distantly she heard the laughter of Mor as Feyre introduced Cleo to her. Already, the three of them were giving Az, Rhys, and Cass a run for their money. _There was a new trio in town,_ Nesta thought. She felt Azriel’s shadows trying to discreetly gauge her mood, but she still felt them. She let them swarm around her, not giving them any trouble. She scented fresh paint, Feyre must be working on something nearby. She heard Cassian’s booming laughter as he reunited with his brothers and Mor. She felt her lips curve up at the sound, a content, little smile playing on her lips.  
  
“Nes, you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you,” she heard Elain stammer out. She opened her eyes to see a worried, small Elain shrinking in on herself in front of her. Az came up and stood behind her, subtly positioning himself in case he needed to protect Elain. As if Nesta would ever hurt her. His shadows whipping back and forth around Elain's feet, letting her know he was there. _Interesting... How well has my little sister acquainted herself with the Shadowsinger while I’ve been gone,_ Nesta wondered. But then, I’m glad she’s had someone, she realized on more of a somber note.  
  
“No, I’m sorry, Elain,” Nesta answered her sister, “I’m just taking it all in,” she finished with as much of a smile she could manage.  
  
“Oh,” Elain's face instantly lit back up. “That’s wonderful, Nesta! I’ve missed you so,” Elain said once more, coming up to wrap Nesta in her arms again.  
  
Feyre tentatively wandered over to where Nesta and Elain were embracing, almost shyly. Nesta moved to open her arms so Feyre could join in on the reunion. “I’ve missed you, too,” Nesta admitted, “ _both_ of you. So much... More than I ever thought I could.” She emphasized the word “both” as to not have Feyre think she missed her any less than she did Elain. Both of her little sisters just looked up to her with small smiles and Nesta had to rid herself of the guilt she felt. “I’m sorry for the way I acted… before,” Nesta finished sheepishly.  
  
“All has been forgiven,” Feyre said in her High Lady voice. Softly, but her tone left nothing up for debate, “we’re just glad to have you back at long last! Were the camps… fun?”  
  
Nesta snorted at that, “I don’t think ‘fun’ is the right word to use,” she said with a little chuckle. “But, they weren’t as bad as they could be, I suppose. It took some major adjusting, but I ended up making some friends and I surprisingly liked my training. I feel better about myself now that I’m not so weak,” she admitted before adding in a quieter voice, “I think it was a good outlet for my aggression. Plus,” she continued, perking up a bit, “I had a good teacher,” she said, shooting a wink at Cassian; who, despite his dark complexion, blushed a deep red color.  
  
“Please,” Cassian scoffed, trying to play it off, “that was all you.”  
  
Nesta just smiled back at him. 


	14. Chapter 14

Cassian  
  
  
After the traveling they had and their reunions, Cassian was just ready to go to bed. However, Mor and his brothers would hear nothing about it. He and Nesta, plus Cleo, joined the entirety of the Inner Circle for dinner up at the House of Wind. Cassian was surprised at how much he’d missed Nuala and Cerridwen’s cooking. They had already gone through several bottles of wine before Mor made to go grab another before Feyre could excuse herself and her two sisters.  
  
“No, you can’t go yet,” Mor exclaimed. “I wanted to drag everyone to Rita’s for a night out! We should be celebrating,” she pleaded.  
  
“Everything alright, darling?” Rhys.  
  
“Yes, of course,” Feyre said as the three sisters rose to excuse themselves, “but I just want to go back and catch up with my sister for now.” Feyre shot an apologetic look towards Mor, “maybe tomorrow night, yeah?”  
  
Mor let out a groan but smiled back at her friend, “okay, okay, I get it,” she said. “But we’re going tomorrow,” she said seriously as she pointed an accusing finger at Feyre. The three sisters laughed and left the room, Feyre stopping to briefly kiss Rhys on his cheek before following out Elain and Nesta. Amren taking her cue from Feyre to make her departure back towards her own apartment. “And don’t think for one second, you four,” Mor began, shooting fiery glares at Cassian, Rhys, Cleo, and Azriel, “that you’re wiggling your ways out of this. We’re all going to Rita’s and that’s final,” she finished with absolute certainty.  
  
“What’s a Rita’s,” a confused and slightly awkward looking Cleo piped in at the same time that Azriel raised his hands in mock surrender and said: “you don’t hear me complaining.”  
  
“It’ll probably be a while yet until my darling Feyre returns back to me, so I’m in,” Rhys added. Mor began clapping her hands in front of her and jumping up and down.  
  
Mor then turned her gaze to Cleo, with an almost hopeful look in her eyes, “Rita’s is like a bar slash club slash dance studio, it’s great! You’ll love it!”  
  
Cleo hesitated a moment before getting out an “okay…”  
  
Cassian rolled his eyes to the ceiling and said, “c’mon seriously, guys? If we’re all going out tomorrow night anyway, why can’t we just wait until then to go out?”  
  
“Because Nesta will be with us tomorrow,” Rhys began, folding his fingers together under his chin. “And if Nesta is around, when else are we going to get the chance to interrogate you for that little wink stunt back at the house,” Rhys finished, waggling his eyebrows at Cassian.  
  
“Or about how your eyes have barely left her face from the moment you got back! I’m surprised you managed to get through an entire meal without spilling on yourself, considering your focus was entirely elsewhere…” Mor added batting her eyelashes at him.  
  
“Or,” Azriel began, “how your scent changes whenever she's within a three-foot radius of you,” he finished, taking a dramatic whiff of the air around Cassian.  
  
“Oh please, try living with them for the past few weeks,” Cleo said, rolling her eyes and teasing.  
  
The four of them were trying to rein in their fits of laughter but failed miserably. _These damn busybodies, surely they have nothing better to do than sit around and discuss my love-life,_ he thought. Cassian grumbled before trying to answer. Though he knew it was a weak attempt at defense and they would totally see through him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
  
“Alright, Cass,” Mor said, “whatever helps you sleep at night.”  
  
“I don’t think we want to know what helps him sleep at night,” Az chimed in quietly, his wine glass pulled up to his lips with a smile in his eyes.  
  
Mor laughed so hard wine came out of her nose, Rhys looked like he was shocked stupid from a comment like that coming from _Azriel_ , of all people, and Cleo tried and failed to keep her quiet laughter at bay. Stalking over to the chair his coat was hung across, he shrugged it on and forced out through clenched teeth, “let’s go.”  


* * *

  
  
For pretty much the entirety of their time spent at Rita’s Cassian was a sulking, brooding, Illyrian baby. He couldn’t help it. He missed his quiet nights with Nesta curled up beside him, the two of them sharing the small bed made for only one Illyrian, not the two of them. He thought about drinking himself silly, but the idea wasn’t appealing. So, instead, he sat at the corner seat at the bar, only chiming in to Rhys and Azriel’s conversation when they addressed him directly.  
  
Mor had whisked Cleo off to the dancefloor practically the moment they arrived and Cassian hadn’t seen the two of them since. He didn’t even need to be here. Briefly, he wondered if Cleo knew that Mor was also attracted to females… oh, if the two of them were into each other they wouldn’t hear the end of it from him. Already his mind was spinning at the possibilities that could potentially arise for jokes and pranks on the two.  
  
“You’ve got that look on your face that says you're up to something, Cass. Care to share,” Rhys asked him across Az, who was seated between them.  
  
“Did you know…” Cassian paused for dramatic effect, “that our little Cleo is _also_ attracted to females?”  
  
Azriel threw his hands up at the same time that an evil little smirk made its way to Rhys’ face. “I don’t know Cleo well enough to meddle in her love life, I advise you don’t either, Rhysand,” Az had suggested, taking a long sip of his drink.  
  
“Does she know that Mor is too,” Rhys eagerly asked, completely ignoring Azriel and his protests. His mouth slightly agape and his eyebrows nearly in his hairline. Honestly, it was cute seeing Rhys getting so excited about a potential love-interest for Mor now that she finally came out to everyone.  
  
“Not unless Nesta told her, no.”  
  
“Oh, this will be fun indeed,” Rhys said in a whisper, almost to himself. He got that look in his eyes that made Cassian think he was communicating internally with Feyre.  
  
“Why must you always stick your nose in places it doesn’t belong,” Az said. Not making eye contact with Cassian, rather just looking straight ahead at the wall across the bar.  
  
“Oh, like you keep your nose out of my business?”  
  
“That’s different,” Az said simply, “you’re my brother,” he finished with a shrug. Cassian just scoffed and took a swig of his own drink. “What is going on between you and Nesta? And don’t tell me that it’s nothing because I know better than that, and to say so would be an insult to me,” he added.  
  
“Honestly, it is nothing,” Cassian said, now finishing off his drink and motioning for another. “She sort of had a breakdown only a month ago, and she’s been making progress since then. She made friends with Cleo, she started talking to other warriors at the camp, you know? Stuff like that.”  
  
“That's great, but what about what’s going on between you two?”  
  
“Yeah,” Rhys finally was brought back down to earth and was once again mentally present, “I can tell something is up, brother.”  
  
“I don’t even know, really,” Cassian said quietly, finally giving in. “I suspect that we have a bond. It was hard at first. She wanted nothing to do with me, she hardly even left her rooms, I tried everything to get her to open up and she just wouldn’t… Then she started sleeping with some of the males in camp and-” Cassian had to spot speaking, else he might have really broken down. Azriel clasped a firm, yet supportive hand on his shoulder, letting him know that it was okay if he wanted to stop there.   
  
“Anyways, when I found Cleo in her state, I brought her back to our cabin, Nesta wasn’t even there. When she finally did come back, she found Cleo and me asleep on the couch. I think she mistook it for something romantic. She totally freaked out, I thought she was going to blow the entire camp off the map,” Cassian smiled at the memory.  
  
“Only you, Cassian, would laugh at the idea of your mate destroying an entire Illyrian camp with you in it,” Rhys said with a chuckle.  
  
“I wouldn’t have minded,” Az said lowly. His hatred for the Illyrians unparalleled.  
  
“Piss off, Az,” Cassian retorted. “As I was saying, jealousy isn’t a good feeling for Nesta, it would seem. I think having felt that one emotion opened up her mind to feel others. Like, she just needed that one stone to be turned in order for that dam to break open her mind. After that we talked, I explained, we started to get closer. And, I love her of course, she’s my mate. I don’t know if or why she’ll ever choose me, but she’s not ready for it now. So don’t push her,” he finished.  
  
“Of course she’ll accept, Cass, she’d be lucky to have you,” Rhys said to him, trying to be comforting.  
  
“You may be an idiot sometimes, and too arrogant for your own good, but yes, Nesta would be glad to have you. Once she’s ready,” Az chimed in.  
  
Not wanting the focus of their conversation to be on him anymore, Cassian turned to Azriel, batting his pretty eyelashes at him and said: “so Az… how’s Elain been?”  


* * *

  
  
Later that night, Cassian laid in his bed at the House of Wind. A feeling of nostalgia washing over him as he remembered all the times he’d laid awake in this bed thinking until the early hours of the morning. He was just about to turn onto his side to finally try to get at least a few hours of sleep before dawn when he heard a soft rasp on his door.  
  
Startled he just answered, “it's open.”  
  
Nesta walked into his room, gently shutting the door behind her. She stood a few feet in front of the door wrapping her hands together in front of her chest, like she was nervous. She wore one of Feyre’s nightgowns. A dusty rose color that hung to her curves and hardly concealed her breasts; leaving Cassian breathless. Once speech was returned back to him, Cassian blinked a few times and asked, “Nesta, is everything alright? Has something happened?” His tone was laced with worry and surprise. He hadn’t heard anything amiss, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t anything wrong. And with Nesta’s gifts, it was possible that she could sense things that others couldn’t.  
  
“No, no, it’s nothing like that it’s just-” she looked up to the ceiling and finally let out in a whisper, “it’s just that I couldn’t sleep. And I used to sleep so well after we started sharing a room, I just thought that maybe…” she looked totally beside herself. This was not the confident Nesta that she let the whole world see and fear, but rather a fragile and vulnerable state she reserved only for Cassian.  
  
“Would you like to sleep in here,” he asked her, “with-with me?”  
  
Nesta just nodded her head and so Cassian scooted over to give her space and pulled back the covers for her. She padded her way over to the bed and climbed under the blankets and nestled into her usual spot under his arms. Once they were situated, Nesta whispered a quiet “goodnight,” and sleep found him instantly.  
  
Nesta  
  
She was sure to wake up early the next morning as to not be spotted by any of the busybodies currently residing in this house. Quickly running down the hall, she burst open the door to her rooms where she set things out to bathe. Nuala was there in an instant. Nesta figured that Cerridwen was either preparing breakfast or helping one of her other sisters dress for the day.  
  
“You don’t have to stay,” Nesta told her, “I can manage just fine.”  
  
“As you wish, lady,” Nuala replied. “I shall come back after your bath to help you dress.”  
  
Nesta turned to protest, but the wraith was already gone.  



	15. Chapter 15

Nesta  
  
  
Indeed, Nuala did return after her bath and helped her into her skirts and laced up the back of her dress. Breakfast was uneventful. Nesta spent her day catching up with Feyre and Elain. Walking through the cobblestone streets of Velaris, Feyre pointed out the different shops in the Rainbow and Elain commented on all the cafes and flower stands. Both of her sisters seemed to be highly admired by the people of Velaris, they were often stopped so that one or both of her sisters could make small talk with citizens of Velaris, they seemed to know everyone by name.  
  
Being so social didn’t usually sit well with Nesta, but in her sisters’ company, she did just fine. Elain and Feyre were content to fill the silence with their banter, not bombarding Nesta with question after question, which she was grateful for.  
  
Now she was in her rooms fuming. She couldn’t believe that everyone would be dragging her out to Rita’s tonight. The night before Starfall! _Didn’t they all have better things to do?_  
  
Scoffing, she returned to her wardrobe where she fussed over which dress to wear. Nuala had already returned for the third time that day to help Nesta with her hair. Parting it down the middle and curling it slightly, leaving it down for once. All she had left to do was get dressed. She had a dress already in mind; a simple black thing that had very subtle cutouts on either side of her ribcage. With her arms down, the cutouts would hardly be noticeable at all. It was a simple dress, nothing too flashy but the cutouts did individualize it as Night Court apparel. She was about to put it on, but when she pulled it out, she noticed a dress that she’d previously put off as something more suited for Mor or even Feyre. But looking at the dress now…  
  
It truly was beautiful. It teetered on the line of scandalous, but was reserved enough to still be considered modest, classy, elegant, sophisticated. It was a deep red, not Mor’s typical bright, but like the color of rubies. The exact shade of Cassian’s siphons. There wasn't a single gem or jewel on the bodice, rather, it had long flowing skirts that would have been see-through had it not been for the sheer number of them overlapping one another that kept her legs from being seen. The top half of the dress was much the same, the material that covered her sternum and torso was see-through except for the pieces that overlapped in a cross-crossed shape over her breasts and wrapped around to connect behind her neck. The back of the dress was nonexistent, leaving her spine completely bare. It was stunning, in the simplest of ways.  
  
She told herself she’d try it on, if only to see what it would look like. She was standing in front of her three-angled mirror, admiring the dress and lightly fluffing her hair when Feyre barged in.  
  
“Alright, Nes, you’re the last one we’re waiting on. I mean, even Mor was ready before you! What’s taking so- _oh!_ Nesta, you look absolutely stunning! Please tell me you’re wearing that tonight,” she squealed. Actually squealed.  
  
Nesta made sure to do a dramatic eye roll before looking at her youngest sister. She, too, was clad out in all her finery, looking breathtaking wearing a plum-colored gown. It was strapless, and though Nesta could tell the material must have been heavy, it hung tightly on her curves and pooled around her feet. As Feyre walked towards Nesta rummaging about in her clutch, Nesta took in the slit of her dress that reached nearly to her navel, though it was on the side of the dress. Still, it gave Feyre’s dress a little edge.  
  
Feyre wore no jewelry, leaving her tattoos out on full display. And where she had forgone accessories, her face had been entirely made up with dark eyeshadow and sparkly pale lips. She finally found what she had been looking for in her clutch and gave Nesta no time to process what she was doing before she pulled away, Nesta’s lips having been painted the same color as her dress.  
  
“Feyre!”  
  
“Oh c’mon Nesta, you know it looks great, don’t even try to say otherwise,” Feyre said with a smirk as she folded her arms in front of her. Nesta had to admit, the lipstick was working wonders for her. It was the one thing other than jewels that completed her ensemble, tying everything together. Nesta felt almost giddy with how confident this dress made her feel, though she was careful to conceal her feelings from Feyre.  
  
“Alright then, I’m ready,” she said to her sister as they left the room.  
  
They made their way down the short corridor and began descending the staircase where the rest of the group waited for them to arrive. Feyre sprang ahead as to get closer to Rhys, leaving Nesta to walk down the staircase alone.  
  
One by one the members of the Inner Circle, plus Cleo, turned towards her. Twinned expressions found their ways to Rhys, Mor, and Azriel, all equally stunned. A small smile danced on Elain's mouth as she took in her older sister. She was wearing a cream-colored satin dress, that was void of any beads or jewels that reached just past her knees. Her hair was a whirl of braids and curls, having little sequins braided into it here and there. Similar sequined sets decorated her wrists and neck. A smile crept its way onto Nesta’s face at the sight of how beautiful her sister was. Cleo let out a low whistle and Amren’s eyebrows raised, if only slightly.  
  
Only Cassian’s expression didn’t change. He looked at Nesta the way he always did, like he always saw her to be this beautiful, though she’d only noticed it just now. She couldn’t help the blush that roared to life on her cheeks at taking in his expression and she hastily made her way down the rest of the stairs. Though, not without taking her eyes off of his. He wasn’t dressed in his usual Illyrian leathers or training gear. Instead, he dressed in coal colored pants and a black tunic, he wore only two of his seven siphons, each adjoining either of his wrists. He tied his hair back into a messy bun, a few strands escaping and framing his angular jaw. He was so beautiful.  
  
Finally breaking her gaze from his, else she might completely lose her composure she said “well,” her voice slightly shaky, “if you’re all finished gawking, I believe we have places to be,” she finished, straightening.  
  
Everyone seemed to be brought back to present at Nesta calling them out, and they all sheepishly looked away from her – all but Cassian – who never took his eyes off of her. Once again, one by one, the members of the Inner Circle paired up. Rhys flew Mor and Cleo, Az following behind with Elain, Feyre struggled behind them carrying a fuming Amren. Leaving only Cassian and Nesta.  
  
Once they were alone, he said “you look beautiful, Nes,” as he gently placed a hand behind her back. She felt his fist clenched at the discovery of bare skin there, and she smiled at the thought.  
  
“Thank you,” she said quietly as he placed his other hand behind her knees and hoisted her up. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” she added as she wrapped her arms around his neck and they took off behind the others, a smile capable of outshining the sun on Cassian’s face.

* * *

  
  
Cassian  
  
Despite his earlier protest about coming, he was rather enjoying himself much to his surprise. The Inner Circle all sat at a round table inside of Rita’s, she had come by earlier to say hello to everyone and offered the first round of drinks on the house. He sat between Mor and Rhys. On the other side of Mor sat Cleo, who in turn was next to Az, who was also in turn next to Elain. Then Nesta and Amren, then Feyre and finally came full circle back to Rhys. Cassian wasn’t even talking to anyone at the particular moment, just soaking up the fact that all of his favorite and most loved people were all sitting happily together. Gods he was such an emotional drunk, he thought to himself and let out a slight chuckle.   
  
Nesta must have caught him from across the table as she raised a questioning eyebrow at him. She also wasn’t engaged in any conversation. And where Amren was quiet and bitter, Nesta was quiet and content, almost thoughtful looking. He just raised his drink in a distant cheers and she returned the gesture.  
  
As predicted, it wasn’t long until Mor was grabbing Cleo and Azriel’s hands and pulling them out to the dancefloor. Az reaching behind him to Elain and letting out a quick “save me” before he was dragged to his doom. Elain laughed and rose to merrily skip her way over to the three of them. Rhys and Feyre following behind them.  
  
“I’m leaving this facility while I still can,” Amren said monotonously, “it’s been a pleasure,” she mumbled as she walked away from them.  
  
Cassian sat directly across from Nesta and their previously occupied table now felt much larger than what it actually was. “Well, Nesta, how ‘bout it? Do you want to dance with me,” he asked her, trying to sound nonchalant.  
  
She scoffed, “I’m not dancing with you, you hulking brute, you’ll crush my toes.”  
  
“Aw c’mon, Nes, I promise I won’t,” he said as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Matter of fact, I guarantee you I won’t,” he challenged, quirking an eyebrow up at her.  
  
“And if you do,” she shot right back.  
  
“What? Scared, Nesta,” he asked, now daring a wink at her.  
  
She rose from her seat and walked over to him. Still sitting in his chair, she leaned over him and whispered into his ear, “crush my toes, bat, and I’ll gut you,” before holding out her hand to him. He made an audible gulp before smiling and letting her pull him to the dance floor.  
  
They joined the other pairs. Mor and Cleo shamelessly dancing out of tune to the song that was playing. A blushing Azriel gracefully led a giddy Elain around the dancefloor, whispering something Cassian couldn’t make out softy into her hair. Rhys and Feyre dancing similarly; so in sync that you couldn’t deny the compatibility and chemistry between the two.  
  
Cassian stroked his hand up Nesta’s forearm before reaching the palm of her hand and taking it in his, his other snaking around her toned back and resting just above the small of it. They moved in a comfortable sway, his gaze locked on her as she took in the others dancing. A small smile was brought to her face when she saw Elain laugh at something Az said. She eventually rested her head into the crook of his neck, her nose brushing the collar of his tunic.  
  
Mor and Cleo bounced their way closer to the two of them, Mor facing away from him towards Cleo. The two of them dancing too-close together for a pair of just friends, Cassian smiled at them. He was shoulder to shoulder with Mor as she leaned over to him and said, “now there’s something I didn’t think I’d ever see,” she teased as Nesta raised her head and sneered at her.  
  
“Oh, c’mon Mor, can’t we go one night without giving him shit,” Rhys said to her, clearly in mock seriousness, popping up from out of nowhere.  
  
“Absolutely not,” Azriel answered for Mor, popping up on Cassian’s other side, leaving Elain to try and quiet her laugh that was surely bubbling from her lips. He smiled lovingly down at her, which made Cassian’s heart swell, despite Az being a total dick.  
  
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Nesta said through gritted teeth, “you’re all dancing,” she took her arm away from Cassian’s neck and gestured to the lot of them.  
  
“Indeed,” Mor said, “but we’re always dancing… you on the other hand,” Mor smiled at her peevishly, also wagging her eyebrows at her for extra emphasis.  
  
Nesta then turned to Cleo, “and you, Cleo,” she said batting her eyelashes at her, “I don’t think I’ve seen _you_ dance before,” she teased. Nesta was joking with his family, and batting her eyelashes! _Gods, what has happened to the real Nesta and replaced her with this,_ he thought as he had to shake his head to clear it.  
  
A furious blush made its way to Cleo’s cheeks as Mor said, “oh, piss off Nesta!”  
  
“See,” she said, her tone light, “not so fun when the teasing is on you, is it dear Morrigan?”  
  
Cassian threw his head back and laughed, Azriel following suit as he snorted his amusement, Rhys and Feyre doing the same. Elain, coving her mouth from the chuckle that threatened to leave it.  
  
Az clasped a hand on his shoulder and he led Elain over to the same shadowy corner that they were at previously. Mor and Rhys following suit and leading their partners elsewhere. Nesta having successfully scared them all off.  
  
The song changed to a slower beat and Cassian dared to pull Nesta closer to him. His nose now brushing against her hair. Her hand curled into a fist at the back of his neck and he let himself smile, knowing that she couldn’t see it. She seemed to cling to him tighter as she breathed him in. His lips found her ear as he said, “walk with me,” reluctantly pulling away from her to see her reaction.  
  
She seemed to sigh at the loss of contact, but nodded her head all the same.  
  
Distantly he noticed Azriel envelope Elain in his shadows as he jumped the two of them through the shadows to somewhere else. Rhys and Feyre were long gone, and Mor would probably keep Cleo enslaved here until dawn. He took Nesta’s hand in his as he led them out of Rita’s and onto the cobblestone streets of Velaris.  
  
They walked along the Sidra, talking about everything and nothing all at once. Sometimes Nesta would go quiet for a while, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence that followed. They both seemed to be content sharing this night with each other. When Nesta began to shiver he stopped walking and pulled her against him.  
  
“Should I fly you back to the house,” he asked her and she nodded.  
  
Creating a thin bubble around them to shield from wind, Cassian leaped to the skies, carrying a sleepy-looking Nesta in his arms. As they approached the House of Wind, Cassian dropped her off at her balcony and her eyes flew wide.  
  
“Nesta, is something wrong,” he asked her. Quickly assessing the situation and standing between her and the doorway to her rooms as his wings unfurled slightly.  
  
“No, it’s just that after last night I was hoping we’d just go straight to your rooms.”  
  
“Oh,” he said as he remembered himself. “Well, would you like to grab some clothes? Or we could even stay here if you’d prefer…”  
  
“Oh, alright,” she said as she opened her balcony doors and lead them inside. She headed off towards the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Not knowing what was okay with her, Cassian stood awkwardly in the middle of her room. She emerged a few minutes later wearing a white nightgown and her lipstick gone.  
  
“Are you going to stand there all night? Or are you going to come to bed,” she asked him as she pulled back the covers to the bed.  
  
Cassian shook off his boots and socks before unceremoniously removing his tunic and undershirt before crawling in bed after Nesta.  
  
He was completely engulfed in her. Her scent was everywhere, not like when they shared the room at the cabin, there her scent was still mingled with his. But here, it wasn’t anything but Nesta. He shamelessly inhaled deeply through his nose and sighed his exhale.  
  
“Tonight was good,” she said hesitantly. “Having everyone together again, was good,” she reiterated.  
  
Cassian answered her as he wrapped his arm behind her and pulled her into his side. “Yeah, it was nice having everyone together again. I missed them,” was his response.  
  
“I was surprised to find how much I missed them,” she commented. “I mean, Elain and Feyre, of course. But I was surprised to realize that I missed Az and Rhys and Amren,” she said before adding in a quieter voice, “even Mor a little bit.”  
  
Cassian laughed at that. “Yeah, I missed them all, too. I think Cleo and Mor will be good for each other.”  
  
“You can’t say that already! They’ve only just met yesterday.”  
  
“But the chemistry is there, you saw them tonight at Rita’s.”  
  
“I suppose.”  
  
They grew quiet after that. Cassian was just about to close his eyes and let sleep claim him when Nesta reached up to tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear before leaning over to kiss his cheek.  
  
“Goodnight, Cassian.”  
  
He turned his head to kiss her hair, “sleep, my Nesta.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STARFALL! This is a pretty lengthy chapter, friends! There is a section that is NSFW and is highlighted where it begins. As we are nearing the end of this fic, I just want to say thank you to all those who have read through this and kept up with this story :)

Nesta  
  
She woke the next morning to Cassian snoring softly beside her, his arm wrapping comfortably over her waist and his hand lightly curled in her hair. The sun was still making its way into the sky and she didn’t even mind that Cassian was still sharing her bed. Let the others think what they wanted, she slept better when he was with her.  
  
She propped herself up on an elbow, resting her head in her hand as she took her other and began tracing over the tattoos that adorned his chest. Most of his hair had come loose from the bun he wore last night, it now laid in a heap of tangles around his head and shoulders. She had to brush a few of the strands away when her fingers trailed the tattoos there.  
  
“Enjoying yourself, sweetheart,” he asked her in a throaty, sleepy voice.  
  
The sound of it made her toes curl instantly and her stomach twist in knots. Despite her initial shock at him waking, she kept her face void of any emotion. She let her fingers continue on the path that his tattoos laid out as she answered, “I very much am, thank you. How’d you sleep,” she asked, not looking up from his chest.  
  
“Like the dead,” he answered. _Gods, his voice was the sound of rough sex personified,_ she thought.  
  
He rolled over onto his side, now facing her and mirroring her position with his head resting on his hand. He took his other and ran it up and down the curve of Nesta’s side.  
  
They spent the morning like that. Quietly observing the other and learning the contours of their bodies. Familiarizing themselves with the dips and scars and shapes of each other. Nesta found that his eyes were the exact shade of brandy, and they filled her with as much warmth as the drink would have. She discovered that if she ran her fingertips across the lower planes of his stomach lightly enough, he would shiver from the tickle. She smiled at that.  
  
It was nearly noon before the rumbles in their stomachs grew too loud to ignore. Cassian left her with a kiss to her cheek as he exited her rooms and went back to his own.  
  
She rolled over to her back and let out a sigh. Mother, what was she doing? Collecting herself once more she made her way to her bathroom to get ready before searching for food.

* * *

  
Cassian  
  
He was once again standing in the middle of the main room at the House of Wind, waiting for the females who took forever to get ready. _Seriously, we have eternity, and they spend the majority of it prettying themselves up, ridiculous,_ he thought. Him, Az and Rhys stood together, sharing a drink while they waited. Cleo was the first female to join them, downing a glass herself.  
  
She looked elegant in her emerald green dress. It was tight and satin, it seemed to curl around her body before stopping just past her knees. She wore an intricate pair of black high heels that looked like a death trap. But instead of commenting on her shoes he said, “you look beautiful, Cleo. Mor is going to be beside herself,” which led to him getting punched in the shoulder and his brothers booming laughter immediately followed.  
  
Suddenly, the doors atop the stairs burst open and out came the devil herself. Cassian heard Cleo choke on her drink from the right of him. Mor’s hair was curled into full, bouncing curls that reached to the middle of her back. Her dress… wasn’t really a dress at all, but rather a top with a matching skirt, leaving a band of her midriff exposed. Her usual bright red, of course. The top half of the dress was cut into a deep v before rising up to the short sleeves that were off the shoulder. The bottom half began just above her navel and hugged every one of her generous curves before pooling out below her knees in a small train. _Typical Mor._  
  
Feyre followed shortly after Mor. Her dress was black and sleeveless. Completely skin-tight apart from the mesh, beaded silver parts that flowed loosely overtop it. She wore a subtle, black band in her hair; similar to the one Rhys wore. She looked stunning, but neither Cassian nor Azriel stared at their High Lady for too long, lest Rhysand throw a fit.   
  
“Darling,” he heard Rhys whisper. Cassian had the feeling that it wasn’t meant to be said aloud, judging from the raw emotion he managed to put into the one word. She blushed crimson before reaching him and wrapping him in a soul-crushing kiss that was too disgusting for him to witness.  
  
He looked away to see Elain emerge next. A delicate, long-sleeved dress covered her body, the color of periwinkle. At the collar, waist, and wrists, groups of small and intricate jewels grouped together in colorful clusters of dark grey and shining silver. Her hair was curled, with the top half pulled back into a complex band that wrapped around the back of her head. Azriel held out his arm for her at the bottom of the stairs and she took it with a blush and a smile.  
  
Amren was next. Practically stomping down the stairs. She was dressed in a simple flowing grey gown. She made up for its simplicity in jewels. So many jewels, Cassian didn’t know how she managed to find space to wear them all. Opal and pearl beads covered her neck, wrists, ears, and every single one of her fingers. She even had a band of them around her slender waist. _Typical Amren._  
  
Finally, at long last, Nesta emerged; and Cassian had to fight to remain upright as he felt his knees go weak. He forgot how to breathe and his chest felt tight. Nesta’s dress was entirely made of a champagne-colored sheer, mesh material. The only parts of her that were concealed were her breasts and waist, covered only by beads. Hundreds and hundreds of teeny, tiny, pearly white beads. The beads faded in thickness down her legs and arms, where they got thinner and smaller in number until eventually there weren’t anymore, and you could see straight through the thin material. She was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen, and not just because of the dress, though she looked exquisite in it. Her hair was up in a purposely messy up-do, a few strands escaped and curled around her face. She wore little makeup, just enough to accentuate her already flawless features.  
  
“Close your jaw, boy,” Amren began, whispering out of the side of her mouth, “before something flies in it and shits.”  
  
He snapped his mouth shut and tried to swallow but found it was too dry.  
  
He found himself waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. He didn’t even know how he got there, but was glad of it when Nesta took the arm he offered her. From this angle, he could see that she had similar beads woven into the back of her hair and each of her ears also had little beads in them.  
  
Cassian realized he was having an out-of-body experience as the rest of the world continued on without him. He saw his family move around him, and noticed the scene before him change. But he could’ve sworn he’d stayed rooted to the spot, just staring at Nesta.  
  
He found himself in a great ballroom, when he came back to his body, standing just outside the group of people dancing. Blinking, he took in his surroundings. Great white pillars held up the elegant ceiling and walls of the space, a classical scene was painted on the ceiling and gold accents were everywhere in the room. Joyful, instrumental music played from an orchestra while couples danced all around him, Nesta still holding onto his arm.  
  
“Oh good, you’ve been brought back to present,” she said flatly.  
  
“What,” he asked her dumbfounded.  
  
“You’ve been pointedly ignoring everyone all night and you’ve got that hazy look in your eye already. Just how much have you had to drink, Cassian,” she asked him under one of her signature icy glares.  
  
“I’m not drunk, Nesta,” he scoffed. She just raised an eyebrow and went to turn away from him. “I’m in love,” he added, breathless. She whipped her gaze back to his, eyes wide and mouth shocked open. “I’m so in love with you, Nesta Acheron,” he admitted as he cupped her face in his hands. Her expression still hadn’t changed from her shocked state and he brought his face closer to his.  
  
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said, giving her the chance to back away if she wanted.  
  
She didn’t though. She closed her mouth and looked up to him as she nodded.  
  
Cassian brought his lips down to hers gently, like he’d been wanting to do for the past year. It was a slow, reserved kiss, full of all the love and adoration he could fit into it. Her hands eventually came up to rest on the back of his neck and she threaded one of them into the hair at the nape of his neck and he took that as his cue to deepen the kiss. He pressed harder into her, until he was leaning over her slightly and her back was bent. She ran her tongue across his bottom lip and he opened for her.  
  
He finished the kiss by giving her small pecks to her lips and each corner of her mouth. Then he kissed her still-closed eyelids, then each of her cheeks, then her forehead, then the tip of her nose and finally her hair. Until they pulled apart completely, albeit a little breathless.   
  
“About time,” Cleo said from behind him, pulling a beaming Mor behind her out onto the dancefloor. They held each other close and twirled and whirled around together, laughing.  
  
Cassian let his hands drop from the sides of Nesta’s face to her hips.  
  
“Dance with me,” she whispered. And so he did.  
  
They danced closer to each other this time than they had last night at Rita’s. Whenever someone from the Inner Circle made their way into his orbit, they’d dance near each other and talked, until eventually, the sounds of music carried them away once again. He never once took his hands off Nesta. Always making contact with at least one part of her. Her waist, her back, her hands, he didn’t care, Cassian just needed to touch her, to know she was real.  
  
Eventually, the night went on and when it got time for the stars to fall, and the spirits flew their way across the sky, the two of them along with the Inner Circle made their way to an empty balcony to watch. Rhys and Feyre left them to watch alone. It didn’t matter. He was with his family and the female that he loved more than life. In all his five-hundred years, he’d never had a Starfall like this one.  


* * *

  
NSFW  
  
Shortly after, Azriel whisked Elain away and back to her own apartment. Cassian wouldn’t know for certain until tomorrow, but he was willing to bet that Az stayed at her apartment with her. Feyre and Rhys never returned after the stars fell, but that was to be expected. At some point, Amren left without bothering much with a goodbye and Mor had dragged a wide-eyed Cleo back to Rita’s for an after-party of sorts.  
  
Cassian led Nesta back to the dance floor for a few more songs, not wanting the night to end. But, he knew it couldn’t be avoided forever and it was getting really late.  
  
“I should probably get you home, huh,” he asked her, even though he really wasn’t looking forward to the moment he’d have to let her go for the night.  
  
“I suppose it is getting late,” she said. He couldn’t be sure, but… was that perhaps, _disappointment_ , in her tone? He felt the same.  
  
“Come on then, I’ll take you back,” he said to her as he held out his hand for her to take.  
  
He led her to a balcony where he picked her up in his arms, giving her a quick kiss at the corner of her mouth before whisking her up and away to the House of Wind.  
  
He landed the two of them at her balcony, not wanting to let go of her just yet, he set her down on her feet but kept his arms wrapped close around her waist. Her arms never left their hold around his neck.  
  
“You missed,” she said looking up at him.  
  
Confused, he shot her an incredulous look as he cocked his head to the side. _Missed what,_ he wondered. Suddenly, her arms were pulling him down towards her where her lips met his with a clash. So _that’s_ what she meant, realization dawned on him as he smiled into her mouth.  
  
He was drunk off of her kiss. Unlike the one they had shared at Starfall, this one was hungry – demanding. He kissed her back with equal fervor, sliding his hands up and down her back before bunching up her gown at the small of her back in a fist. In return, she tangled his long hair in her fist and tugged gently.  
  
He moved his focus from her mouth and traveled his kisses to her jaw, down her neck, where he spent a good long while biting, kissing and sucking the sensitive flesh there, and eventually kissed her where her neck met shoulder. She threw her head back as a breathy sigh escaped her.  
  
He let his hands resume their explorations, now roughly traveling up her spine and waist. They eventually found their home on her hips where he pulled her up to him, wrapping his hands around behind her to support her weight. She let out a surprised gasp before the sound was swallowed by another maddening kiss, his mouth once again returning to hers.  
  
He carried her fully into her room, leaving the balcony doors open in his wake. He broke their kiss just long enough to say, “tell me what you want, Nes,” onto her lips.  
  
“You, all of you,” was her reply, before she attacked his neck with kisses and love bites once more.  
  
Cassian felt his mouth go dry at the implication at what was to come next, his already too-tight pants becoming almost unbearable at his arousal intensified.  
  
“Nesta, are you sure, we don’t have to – we can stop here if you want,” he told her.  
  
“No, I want this, I want you,” she said, breaking contact from his neck to look into his eyes and added, “that is, if you’ll have me?”  
  
He heard a growl leave his lips as he enveloped her in a deep, hard kiss that was sure to leave her lips swollen and bruised in the best way. He gently set her down before him, a stark contrast to the passionate kiss he was giving her.  
  
“Let’s get you out of this dress then,” he said, his voice coming out much deeper than he intended it to as he snaked his hands around her back, finding the cleverly hidden zipper, “shall we?”  
  
She nodded as she gulped, looking at him.  
  
“You say the word, Nes, and I stop. No questions asked.”  
  
She simply just nodded again and he slowly pulled the zipper down her back, his fingers lightly brushing her skin in its wake before letting it fall to the floor.  
  
She stood bare before him in nothing but a scrap of lace the concealed her most intimate parts.  
  
“Nes,” her name being drawn out as he fully took her in. “You’re exquisite,” he breathed as he gently pulled her into him. He kissed her until her legs backed into the bed where he gently pushed her onto the mattress, him lightly crawling over her.  
  
“This okay,” he asked as they settled in and he began lightly tracing his fingertips over her small frame.  
  
“Yes,” she whispered as his hand came up to cup her breast. He kissed her once before bringing his mouth down to her other breast, gently sucking on the hardened peak he found there. “Cassian…” she said as a moan.  
  
He gave his full attention to her breasts. His mouth sucking at her and gently nipping her every once in a while as his hand gently rolled and palmed her other. His remaining hand began drawing little figure eights on her thigh, gently rising higher and higher, before dropping back down again.  
  
“Cassian,” she whimpered, “more, more, more.”  
  
He smiled onto her nipple before bringing his mouth back up to hers, he slid his hands along her body until they gripped either side of her underwear at her hips. Not breaking the kiss, he gently pulled them down her legs, Nesta lifted her hips to make it easier for him.  
  
Before he could do anything more, Nesta was fisting his shirt and jacket before demanding, “off, take this off now.”  
  
“Bossy are we,” he said with a smirk as he shrugged off his dress jacket. She helped him pull his tunic up and over his head before he was naked from the waist up before her.  
  
He bent back down to her, trailing kisses from her mouth down her body until he reached the apex of her thighs. Stopping to look up at her once more in silent confirmation, she nodded and he laid down flat on his stomach as he snaked his hands around the backs of her thighs as he brought his mouth down to her.  
  
He had to fight the urge to grind himself into the mattress at the taste of her. She was heavenly. So much more than what he was expecting, and she was deliciously wet already. His tongue making easy, slow laps in her folds before circling the tip of his tongue around her clit.  
  
“Cassian,” she moaned as she held a hand to her mouth, her other clenching the sheets beside her tightly.  
  
He pulled away from her only long enough to say: “we’ll be having none of that Nesta,” as he reached his arm up to pull away the hand that she now had covering her mouth, “I want to hear you,” he added before once more bringing his mouth down to her. Her hand moved from her mouth to grip the hair at the nape of his neck where she pulled him closer to her.  
  
He brought around his hand where he tentatively plunged a finger inside of her. Keeping the same rhythm, he began pumping it into her slowly in time with the ministrations of his tongue. She moaned loudly as he added a second finger.  
  
With the two fingers he had inside her, he could feel her walls clenching around him already as her body began to tense up with pleasure.  
  
“Nesta,” he said her name as a prayer as his tongue continued circling her.  
  
“Cass, don’t – don’t stop – I’m so close, Cass,” she moaned.  
  
Never breaking his stride, he kept the same rhythm and pace as her body went taut and her legs began to shake as they clenched tightly to his head. He continued his movements until she was finished with one orgasm, and another followed closely after the first, the two of them flowing right after the other wonderfully. When she was finished and still again, he retracted his fingers before sticking them into his mouth and sucking off the wetness that remained on them.  
  
He slowly crawled back up her body, feeling satisfied and smug as he smiled down at her before planning a sloppy, wet kiss on her lips. She laughed onto his lips before breaking away and gazing back up at him.  
  
She raised a slender hand to his chest where she gently pushed him back onto the bed. She sat up beside him as she started fumbling with his belt. He used one hand to grip her wrist and the other to help loosen his belt as he said, “I meant what I said Nesta, we can stop here if you want to.”  
  
She shook her head as she undid the button holding his trousers together. The immediate release of pressure on his groin was a relief as she tugged his pants, including his undershorts, off in one swell movement.  
  
He rolled them over once more so Nesta was once again laying on her back and he was seated between her legs. He propped himself up on one hand that rested close to Nesta’s head, and with the other, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with Nesta’s entrance.  
  
“You’re sure,” he asked her one last time before running his length between her folds, coating himself in her moisture.  
  
“Cassian, yes,” she said as she brought her hands up to cup either side of his pretty face as he gently, slowly eased himself into her inch by inch until he was completely sated, never breaking eye contact with her.  
  
Once he was fully inside her, she arched her back and threw her head back as he waited for her to adjust to the feel of all of him.  
  
When she relaxed and brought her gaze back to his, he started to move, ever so slowly. Small thrusts as to make sure he wasn’t hurting her before giving her his all. The bond between them seemed to snap into place, pulling him impossibly closer to her.  
  
Sex with other females before Nesta was never like this. Never before had he experienced such a connection to someone when their bodies were joined. The bond was a living thing tying them to one another, shifting and manifesting between them. When he was inside Nesta, every emotion he had been holding back from her was finally released as he pounded into her. All of his love and admiration and pride that he felt for her was reflected in her own expression.  
  
Her hands slid down from his face where they now gripped the sides of his biceps, pulling him closer to her. His body now covering hers in every place possible. He buried his face into her neck as she met him thrust for thrust.  
  
Cassian was fighting his release when he once again felt Nesta grow tight as her orgasm built. He refused to let himself shatter before she came.  
  
She came with an “oh, gods, Cassian!”  
  
His name wasn’t even fully off of her lips before he was spilling himself inside of her.  
  
He remained inside her a few moments more, before slowly sliding out of her before coming to rest on her side. She quickly curled up beside him as he wrapped his arms around her. Pulling the blankets up to cover them, she whispered his name.  
  
He paused to look at her. Her beautiful face sleepy and lust addled, her eyelids heavy and her lips swollen. She was like his own personal angel. A beacon of light in his life.  
  
“I love you, Cass,” she confessed.  
  
Stunned, he pulled her into him and kissed every inch of her face he could.  
  
“I love you so much, Nes, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that,” he said, and was surprised when he felt his throat clenching up, making it hard for him to get the words out. The tears soon followed, swiftly rolling down his cheeks as he continued to kiss her.  
  
“Shh, don’t cry, Cass,” she said, taking his face in her hands with a smile.  
  
“I’m happy,” he let out as she kissed the trail his tears left behind on his cheeks.  
  
“I know,” she whispered, “I am too, which is something I didn’t think I would find ever again. I owe everything to you,” she trailed off.  
  
“Now it’s my turn to shush you, Nes,” he said, trying to bring back some lightheartedness to the conversation. She laughed as he kissed her eyelids that threatened to let tears fall down her face.  
  
“I’m so tired, Cassian, I love you so much,” she said as her eyes drifted closed.  
  
“Sleep, my Nesta.”


	17. Chapter 17

Nesta  
  
  
When she woke the next morning, her body was deliciously sore. She opened her eyes to see a sleepy-looking Cassian looking down at her. His hair was sleep-mused and tangled. The early morning sun that shone through the open balcony doors melted his eyes into golden honey.  
  
“Sweetheart,” he said, voice hoarse, “you’re drooling.”  
  
Instantly, her pleasant thoughts and admiration for the male lying next to her diminished in her mind as she quickly wiped at her mouth. Sure enough, she had been drooling.  
  
He tipped his head back and laughed, the sound of him so happy brought a reluctant smile to her lips and soon enough, she was laughing right along with him.  
  
“I don’t want to leave this bed today,” she admitted when their laughter subsided.  
  
“Then let’s not,” he said, serious.  
  
“But I need to bathe, and I need food,” she frowned.  
  
“Well, lucky for you, your rooms have a bathing chamber attached to them and we just so happen to possess magic, capable of bringing us food,” he said. “And even more luck for you, your bath is big enough for two,” he finished with a wicked grin.  
  
Suddenly, she felt the blood drain from her face and dread pool in her stomach.  
  
“Woah, Nes, it’s okay. We don’t have to do anything! I-I can leave if you want,” he stammered out, raising from the bed and grabbing his clothes as he made his way for the door. Clearly, he mistook her dread of submerging herself in the bath as her not wanting him there with her.  
  
“No! Cassian, don’t leave,” she said quickly, “that’s not it! I just, I can’t- “  
  
“It’s okay, I can give you privacy, I should go look for something for us to eat anyways.”  
  
“No. You stay here,” she commanded. “It’s not that I don’t want you here, it’s just that ever since being Made… I haven’t been able to submerge myself in water. I can’t get in the bathtub,” she finished in a whisper.  
  
She looked up from the floor and met his gaze. His expression looked so pained, torn between comforting her and giving her space, which she didn’t want. He made his way back over to her in large strides until he was swooping her naked body up in his and holding her close.  
  
“Cassian! Put me down,” she let out before the breath was squeezed out of her in once of Cassian’s signature bone-crushing hugs.  
  
“Thank you for telling me,” he said into her hair. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner? I could have helped you.” His voice sounded strained.  
  
“Well,” she let out a breathy laugh, relieved that he didn’t seem to think any less of her, “in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not really the best at asking for help when I need it.”  
  
He finally pulled away from her slightly and set her back down, keeping her at arm’s length. “I could help you now, if you wanted, if not you can just shower and I can get food while you do. Whatever you want. Whatever you need.”  
  
“I’d like to just shower for now, maybe we can work up to the bathtub later,” she said but he answered as if it were a question.  
  
“Most definitely. Do you want me to wait here or come with you or get food or just leave,” he asked in a rush.  
  
“I wouldn’t say no to some food,” she said, smiling.  
  
“Done,” he answered as he kissed her brow and then shrugged on his pants from last night. Forgetting his shirt completely. Not that Nesta minded that.  
  
She made her way to the bathroom as Cassian left her room, presumably to go to the kitchen.  
  
She made quick work of cleaning her hair and body. Reluctantly washing off the traces of Cassian’s touch over her skin. When she was finished, she brushed her teeth and braided back her wet hair. She dressed in a simple cream-colored shift dress, since she didn’t plan on leaving her rooms at all, and besides, Cassian would probably just take it off of her anyways. She smiled at the thought as she got ready.  
  


* * *

  
  
Cassian  
  
Leaving Nesta’s rooms, he made his way down the hall towards the kitchen. Still clad in only his trousers from the night before, not bothering with any type of shirt, he was met in the kitchen with everyone from the Inner Circle apart from Amren.  
  
“Hey, nice of you to join us,” Feyre teased as she turned away from Rhys, letting the bite of pancake she was about to feed him fall to her side leaving Rhys to pout as he looked at Cassian.   
  
Cassian made his way around the kitchen, sneaking bites of food for himself while he made Nesta a plate, pointedly ignoring the looks his brothers and the two Archeron sisters were throwing his way. Mor and Cleo both lay unmoving, face down on either of the couches in the living room that was attached to the dining area, both looking like they’re going to be nursing a hell of a hangover when they wake up.   
  
Content with his progress on Nesta’s breakfast, he turned to make his way back towards her rooms.  
  
“Leaving so soon,” Az asked.  
  
“Say, any of you guys seen Nesta this morning? Cass, have you seen her,” Rhys asked in mock seriousness as he sipped his orange juice.  
  
He just rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that was brought to his face as he sauntered his way back into Nesta’s room.  


* * *

  
  
The two of them spent the whole day in Nesta’s rooms. After she came out from the shower, hair wet and in a braid, he fed her bites of pancake and pieces of strawberries. They laid in bed, sneaking innocent kisses here and there. Talking and laughing about anything and everything. Nesta said she had over five hundred years of Cassian’s past she needed to catch up on, she wanted to know everything about him. Everyone who has ever influenced and shaped who he is today. Cassian asked her just as many questions about her past before she was Made, their conversation growing much more somber and serious as she laid out the details of her past. Cassian inwardly cursed when she told him about Thomas Mandray, Cassian didn’t tell her, but he was already plotting his destruction. He was debating on whether or not to bring Az into it when she said, “Cass, stop plotting his death and talk to me,” he looked up from where he was staring at nothing and she laughed. “No killing Thomas,” she said to him in mock seriousness.  
  
“Please,” he pleaded, knowing she would never give.  
  
“No. If you do, then I’ll just have to go around and kill everyone who’s ever hurt you in the past five hundred years, and that would just take too long, and I’d rather spend my time with you.”  
  
Cassian grumbled, but still let out a “fine,” through clenched teeth.  
  
“Stop sulking and kiss me, you brute,” she said, smiling and cupping the sides of Cassian’s face and bringing her lips to his.  
  
When they finally broke apart moments later, Cassian was no longer concerned about Thomas Mandray or anything else that wasn’t Nesta.  
  
“I love you,” he said and kissed her again.


	18. Chapter 18

Cassian  
  
  
Cassian had spent most of his time with Nesta for the days following Starfall, but he did find himself away from her one afternoon, training with Cleo on the balcony at the House of Wind. Nesta and her sisters, along with Mor went out to go shopping for Solstice gifts. Azriel and Rhys were lazily training a few feet from where Cassian and Cleo were sparring with wooden staffs.  
  
Cassian let his thoughts wander to Nesta, wondering what she was up to, if she felt as uneasy as he did being apart from her. He sent a feeling of admiration and longing to her through the bond, just as Cleo did a sweeping gesture with her staff, knocking him right off his feet.  
  
He shook his head to rid the dizzy feeling he got after hitting his head on the mat. He looked up to see and amused Cleo and Azriel above him, along with a dumbfounded Rhys’ gaze looming over him.  
  
“Who are you, and what have you done with my general,” Rhys asked.  
  
“Oh, piss off,” Cassian grumbled as he rose to his feet.  
  
“Seriously, though Cass,” Cleo began, “a twelve-year-old could have done that move and still knocked you on your ass,” she finished, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
He rolled his eyes just as Rhys said “I can’t have my general in this condition. Cassian, I’m afraid you’ve lost your touch.”  
  
“I haven’t lost my touch, I’m just distracted,” he said airily with a wave of his hand.  
  
“Cassian, if you can’t beat Cleo in hand-to-hand combat in this next round, I’m sending you back to the camps for a week to train before Solstice,” Rhys deadpanned.  
  
Cassian felt his jaw drop and heard Azriel chucked before turning his back to the group to try and mask it. “You can’t be serious.”  
  
“Dead serious, Cass. Better warm up,” Rhys said as he flittered his wrists at him, gesturing for him to get on with it. “Oh, and if you lose, Nesta stays here,” he added, almost smirking. Cassian immediately geared up to protest but was cut off when Rhys raised a hand to him and turned towards Cleo.  
  
“Why are you having him fight me,” Cleo asked, “why not one of you?”  
  
“Because you’re the most promising hand-to-hand fighter I’ve ever seen. And Azriel and I both have unfair advantages over Cassian. We could fight him without using our powers, but honestly, he’d beat us without them. You, dear Cleo, are fair competition.”  
  
Cleo positively beamed at the compliment, and a determined look settled in her eyes. _Great, she wasn’t going to make this easy on me,_ he thought. Cassian honestly didn’t know whether or not he _could_ beat Cleo in a real hand-to-hand match. Sure, they’ve sparred before, but before either of them could pin the other or tap-out, they would laugh at something and walk out of the ring. They have never actually finished a match between the two of them.  
  
“Oh, gods, Cassian is _scared_ ,” Azriel bellowed from behind where Rhys was standing, clearly trying to keep a straight face. Rhys could no longer manage once Azriel burst into full-on laughter, bent over, hands on his knees. Rhys finally cracking a smile when he glanced behind him to see a single tear rolling down Az’s cheek.  
  
“Piss. Off.”  
  
“Wings bound,” Azriel managed to get out between fits of laughter.  
  
Instantly, with a lazy wave of Rhys’ hand, both Cassian and Cleo’s wings were tightly bound in three places.   
  
Cassian moved over to wrap his hands, wrists, and knuckles, adding extra padding to his knuckles. Not for his own benefit, no, but because he didn’t want to actually injure Cleo with his blows. It seems that Cleo was following his lead and doing the same.  
  
From an outside perspective, this would seem like an unfair fight. Cleo only came up to Cassian’s chest, his size alone is off-putting enough to his opponents. But, where he is bulky and can deliver hard kicks and punches; Cleo was sleek and fast, and he knew first hand that a roundhouse kick from her could knock him on his ass. He felt a trickle of sweat form on the back of his neck due to nervous energy. Cleo seemed calm and collected, having nothing to lose from this match, only the possible gain of the praise from her High Lord and his spymaster.  
  
“We should have a healer present,” Az said quietly to Rhys, but not so quiet that Cassian didn’t catch it. Rhys nodded, seeming to mentally call to one of the healers in the city.  
  
Cassian inwardly groaned as Cleo began bouncing on the balls of her feet, warming up.  
  
“Okay, so here’s the deal: six rounds, three-minute matches, unless one of you either gets pinned, knocked out, or taps,” Az said to them both. This whole ordeal seemed to come out of nowhere and the anticipation of it was finally hitting Cassian.  
  
Normally, he wouldn’t mind this type of thing. Az and Rhys often put pressure and used ultimatums on him to push him to be better. Most of the time, he performed better under pressure, knowing that there was something at stake made him work harder. But not _Nesta_. They should have known better than to have used her as a punishment for him if he lost. He couldn’t stand the thought of being without her, even if it was only for a week. A week was nothing in comparison to an eternal life, right? Cassian tried to remind himself of this as he stepped into the ring with Cleo. A healer, Novak, had just shown up so they were ready to begin. _It’s only a week_. He reminded himself as he stood across from Cleo.  
  
Just one week.  
  
He could manage one week.  
  
Couldn’t he?  
  
One whole week.  
  
Oh, gods, no. No, he couldn’t.   
  
Faster than it should have seemed, the first match was over. Cassian’s ribs already beginning to throb as they caught up to Cleo’s quick blows. Cassian having barley landed a hit on her. He definitely lost that round.   
  
“This is pathetic, Cass,” Rhys said to him, mock disappointment lacing his words. “We just might have to extend your trip back to the steppes. What do you think Az, another week added on?”  
  
“Oh, two. At least,” Azriel answered his High Lord in amusement.  
  
Cassian felt his eyes go wide.  
  
“What have I ever done to you,” he got out in between pants as the healer mended a shallow split to his lip.  
  
Rhys didn’t answer, just gestured for the two of them to get back onto the mat.  
  
Cassian tried to rid the thoughts of Nesta from his mind and focus more on the task at hand. Cleo was advancing on him fast, delivering blows to his ribs so quickly that they were a blur. He tucked his elbows in tight, trying to block and soften the blows she was throwing him. A second later, he was narrowly ducking a roundhouse kick from Cleo. He hadn’t even seen her step back for it. A moment later, it would have connected with his jaw. Luckily, he ducked it, and on his way back up to full height, he landed a punch to Cleo’s exposed ribs. His target much smaller than he was used too, Cleo’s tiny body forcing his aim to be more precise.  
  
She stumbled but recovered quickly, kicking him in his thigh, which caused him to bend slightly where she delivered a right cross, her target of his jaw met perfectly.  
  
Cassian took a step back and bounced on his feet, giving them both a moment to recuperate. Cleo was keeping an arm tucked close to her ribs where Cassian hit her earlier. He himself was opening and closing his mouth, making sure his jaw wasn’t dislocated.  
  
Just then, Rhys called the match, and he and Cleo were both taking turns seeing Novak. Cleo was in better shape than Cassian was. Novak pulled her shirt up to check her ribs. Not broken, no internal bleeding. A nasty bruise already blooming, but she’d be fine. Cassian’s jaw was knocked just out of place and the healer set it quickly. They each had a moment to spare before the match was to start back up.  
  
“Call it before I hurt you,” Cleo said to him cockily, a smirk dancing around her pretty mouth.  
  
Before Cass could reply, he was pushed back in the ring and ready to begin. Right off the bat, he connected with Cleo’s nose, blood instantly raining down around her mouth and chin.  
  
“You jackass,” she called out in disbelief before delivering a double kick. Cassian side-stepped the first one but wasn’t expecting the second. It hit him in the pressure point on the outside of his thigh. He stumbled, not having any feeling in that leg from the thigh down, and Cleo pressed her advantage, punching him once more in his newly-set jaw.  
  
Cassian decided to give Cleo a taste of her own medicine and hit her with a low round-house to the same spot. When she stumbled, he did the same to the other leg. Hitting both pressure points on her thighs. She went down, but not completely, catching herself with a hand on the mat and the other held close to her body, ready to block if Cassian chose to attack again. He let her get solid footing once more, and just as he was about to deliver a kick to her ribs, she did a similar move to the one when they were using staffs. Only this time, she dropped down and used her outside leg to sweep both of Cassian’s out. He landed with a thud on his back and before he could process what just happened, Cleo was mounting him, using her forearm over his chest to keep him down, her weight too light to accomplish that on its own, and delivering blow after blow to his face.  
  
Reflexively, his hands came up to block his face, but to get out of the position Cleo had him in, he’d have to leave his face unprotected. Bracing a foot on the mat, he kneed Cleo in the back, her still straddling his waist. He took one arm and pinned hers, and used his other, along with the momentum of his hips to roll the two of them over, Cassian’s knees now straddling Cleo’s waist as Azriel called the match.  
  
Reluctantly, he got off Cleo. He had that round. Cleo having won the first two, and this whole thing half-way over now, it was time to step it up. Cleo shot him a dirty look as she drank some water and Novak blotted a cloth over a cut on Cassian’s brow. He winked at her, reminding her that they weren’t actually fighting, that they were friends, she seemed to consider before smirking back at him.  
  
“Call it before I hurt you, k?” Cassian sent her another wink as he stepped back onto the mat, leaving Cleo behind before she could muster a response.  
  
This time it was Cleo who jumped him right off the bat. She went for a kick in the ribs, but Cassian was expecting that and grabbed her ankle. Her face paled and he gave her a toothy smile before pulling her in and twisting. Her body followed the same motions he forced on her ankle, she tugged, but with the new position she was in - with her hands on the mat and her ankle in Cassian’s hand - she was limited on defenses. She subtly scooted closer to Cassian with her hands, bending her knee a bit before fully extending it and kicking upward into Cassian’s jaw. The kick didn’t have as much power packed into it, but the move itself was impressive. Cassian let go of her ankle and smiled at her, despite the blood that was now coming from his mouth.  
  
She smiled back as they both backed up a few paces and readied themselves once more. Cassian approached her and she followed his cue and met him in the middle. He threw a punch that she ducked. She threw a cross that he deflected. The remainder of the match went like this, both of them tired now, every once in awhile someone would land a hit, but it was a pretty equal match.  
  
They both sat down, pouring water over themselves as Novak frantically worked between the two of them. Cassian’s mouth was bleeding. Cleo’s nose had stopped, but her face was covered in blood, what appeared to be a black eye forming around her right eye socket. Cassian’s jaw was near purple in bruises that he knew would only look worse tomorrow.  
  
Cass watched as Cleo rose and winced as her ribs took on her weight. She masked it, but it was too late, Cassian had already found her weakness, and he would be exploiting it this round.  
  
Neither of them had any energy left to muster a witty comment before the match. When Cleo threw her first punch, made to be a hook to Cassian’s ribcage, he ducked it and landed a hard blow to Cleo’s injured side. She cried out in pain before turning to Cassian, who was still bent slightly, and kneed him in the stomach before elbowing him in the jaw on her way out of range.  
  
“Nesta sure is going to miss you while you’re training in the steppes,” she taunted as she danced around him.  
  
_Gods damn it,_ he was doing fine, then she had to go and bring up Nesta.  
  
“That’s a low blow, Cleo,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Is it? I’m merely stating facts. But then again… _will_ she even miss you,” she sent him a bloody smile. Cassian thought she looked evil.  
  
“I’m going to wipe that smile right off your face,” he replied as he straightened once more, his vision hazy.  
  
“Bring it,” she answered, stepping towards him once more.  
  
The second she was within kicking distance, Cass sent her a perfect roundhouse kick that connected with her jaw. She went down with a thud. Cassian thought that would be the final blow, but he watched in amazement as she slowly pulled herself to her feet. Her face was impossibly more bloody than before. He heard Rhys’ and Az whistle in amazement at the fact that she was still standing after that. Cassian had to admit that it was impressive. His brows were still raised when she double jabbed and hit him in the nose both times. Blood now trickling from both his nostrils.  
  
Even so, Cassian ducked low and sent a right hook to her ribs, her already sore side. She winced and pulled her arm in to block, but Cassian just kept the blows coming. Cleo was too preoccupied defending her side to throw a punch his way.  
  
Cassian finally let up from Cleo. She still had her forearms tucked in close, likely adding pressure to her ribcage, but her legs were free. She did a complicated spin and roundhouse kicked Cassian in the side. Due to the lack of using her arms, she was off-balance, and after she landed the blow, she went down. Cassian immediately was on her, not attacking, but simply pinning her, but she outmaneuvered him, flipping their positions before punching him in the stomach.  
  
He threw her small but muscular body off of his, and they both got to their feet. At the same moment, they both went for a roundhouse kick, and the last thing Cassian saw was black.

* * *

  
  
Nesta  
  
Nesta had fun with her sisters and Mor shopping, but was eager to be home and see Cassian again. That, and the only gifts she wanted to buy was for her sisters and Cassian, and she couldn’t really buy things for them when she was in their company.  
  
Feyre, Elain, Mor and herself walked into the townhouse, expecting to be greeted by the remainder of the Inner Circle and Cleo, but they were nowhere to be seen. They were looking around the entryway as Amren rounded the corner, her nose in a book. She didn’t look up from the book she was holding as she said, “they’re at the House of Wind. Have been all day. When you’re done yelling at Rhysand, tell him I’ve got something for him,” she finished and walked out of the townhouse.  
  
“Feyre…” Nesta began, but Feyre was already in her head, assumingly communicating with Rhys. Nesta rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest, waiting for Feyre to finish before questioning why she would be yelling at Rhys.  
  
A small smile grazed across Feyre’s lips before turning into a frown as she turned towards Nesta, “Okay, Nesta, Mor, don’t be angry…”  
  
Instantly, Nesta was angry and Mor looked panicked. The next moment, Rhys was there, grabbing her and Mor around the waist and hoisting them up and out the door of the townhouse, toward the House of Wind. Nesta turned back to see Feyre sprouting her own wings and picking up Elain, both of them whispering to each other.  
  
“Rhys, why did Feyre tell us not to be angry?”  
  
“Just don’t be angry,” he said simply.  
  
Nesta decided she did not like being the only one left out of the know.  
  
_Cassian?_ She waited a moment before: nothing. He wasn’t answering her. Usually, he was so active with the bond, sending her messages and images throughout the day; but now that she thought about it, she really hadn’t heard much from him lately. This set her on edge.  
  
“Has something happened to Cassian,” she asked Rhys. Her jaw clenching almost painfully. Mor still looked confused but the look that crossed Rhys’ face at her question was all the confirmation that she needed.  
  
“He’ll be fine,” Rhys' simple answer, but he seemed to be in a hurry.  
  
“Oh my gods!” Mor was finally catching on, “is Cleo okay?” Nesta rolled her eyes.  
  
“She’ll be fine,” Rhys repeated, not looking at either of them and keeping his gaze on the House of Wind in front of them.  
  
_Cassian_ , Nesta sent through the bond once more, she barely gave him a moment to respond before she was sending another message. Then another. Now sending both messages and feelings of anxiety and apprehension down the bond. His silence was not helping her nerves. Her imagination was starting to get the better of her.  
  
She felt her magic begin to slip out of her control. They were so close to the House of Wind, she only had to last another minute before she would be safe on solid ground again. Then she could distance herself from the others or find Cassian. Just then, grey, foggy tendrils of smoke began to seep from her fingertips. She clenched her fists, hoping to contain the darkness that was escaping her, but it wasn’t helping. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to picture happy things – Cassian laughing, his wings when he flew her places, his calming face when she had a meltdown at the cabin – anything, anything to stop this.  
  
“Rhysand,” it was Mor, a warning lacing her tone, though her voice sounded like it was underwater to Nesta’s ears.  
  
Rhys shocked look flew to Mor, whose gaze was locked on Nesta’s hands, and she felt Rhys’ eyes on her as he beat his wings heavily, trying impossibly to get them to the House of Wind sooner.  
  
“Hang on, Nesta,” he told her in a gentle tone, but there was a sense of urgency behind it. His voice sounded underwater to Nesta, too.  
  
“Can’t - can’t control – it,” she got out through gritted teeth.  
  
“I know, it’s okay, we’re almost there,” he told her in the same tone. Abruptly, the three of them dropped altitude like hitting an unexpected air pocket or turbulence. Nesta shot her eyes open to see Rhys’ pained expression and Mor’s terrified gaze at the ground under them. Nesta dared to look down at her hands, the tendrils had expanded past her own and were making contact with Rhys’ arm that was wrapped around her.  
  
It appeared to be causing him serious pain, his face was distressed as he fought to keep the three of them in flight. Nesta closed her eyes again as Rhys’ wing beats faltered once more, they were closer now, only a few hundred feet left and then they would be on the balcony.  
  
Nesta tried not to think about Cassian being hurt or in danger. But she couldn’t get the vision of him with his wings shredded as she was thrown into the Cauldron. Or him, beaten and bloodied on the battlefield with her in his arms. He’s been so close to death before, what if this was another one of those times? What if he was dying and Rhys couldn’t get her to him fast enough?  
  
“Nesta, he’ll be fine,” she heard Rhys ground out.  
  
“I don’t know that,” she answered with fervor.   
  
Mor looked terrified and Nesta couldn’t blame her. They were thousands of feet in the air, a fall from this altitude would surely kill them, and Nesta was making it harder and harder for Rhys to keep them in flight.  
  
“Drop me,” Nesta yelled. Rhys shot her a bewildered look, it was quickly chased away by pain. Mor’s startled yelp sounding soon after. Nesta looked to where Rhys was hanging onto Mor with a death grip. Nesta’s tendrils were now completely wrapped around Rhys’ waist and were touching Mor’s side.  
  
“You have to,” she screamed.  
  
“I will not,” he yelled back. “We’re almost there, just hang on. One more second.”  
  
The next moment, Rhys was crash-landing the three of them onto the balcony. He let go of Nesta the second her body cleared the balcony railing. She saw him tuck Mor closer to his body as they flipped and rolled on the hard stones of the balcony, Nesta doing the same close behind them. She stopped abruptly when her head connected to the ground. She sat up slowly, her head pounding as it began to rain.  
  
Feyre, Az and Elain were soon joining them, asking frantically what had happened. It was all too much and too fast for Nesta’s foggy brain to keep up with, so she just sat up and rested her head on a nearby pillar, still sprawled out in the rain. Her eyes felt so droopy and she was beyond tired, _must be from the magic,_ she thought. She glanced at her hands, thanking the gods that her power stopped. Once she was sure no one was in danger from her, she let her eyes fall.  
  
“Nesta,” a male fae she had never seen before was calling her name and flashing a light in front of her eyes.  
  
“Is she okay,” she heard Feyre ask quietly.  
  
“Fix her,” the unmistakable voice of Cassian growled out. A sound that strongly resembled something being punched followed soon after.  
  
“Cass, you’re going to freak her out when she wakes up, go clean yourself up,” she heard Mor say in a voice she’d never heard before.  
  
“Do not tell me what to do right now,” he spat out.  
  
“Cass, hey, I get that you’re upset but you need to calm-“  
  
“Calm down,” Cassian cut Rhys off with a false laugh. “Calm down? You nearly dropped her Rhysand! You did drop her and you left me with my wings bound! If that were Feyre I would have protected her with my life, not because you’re High Lord or because she’s High Lady, but because you’re my brother! And she’s your mate. Nesta is my _mate_ , and you didn’t protect her!” Cassian was practically roaring, she’d never heard him use that tone before, or speak like that, especially to his High Lord; it was making her head pound. “You know what that would have done to me,” he said in a much softer tone, “if you dropped her and I would have been forced to watch with my wings bound.” His voice cracked. “Why did you even have to go get her, why couldn’t you just have left it alone, why why why,” he was repeating over and over until his voice faded out.  
  
Nesta still felt the stranger poking at her head and shining a light in her eyes, but she couldn’t see around the brightness.  
  
“Casssss…” she said, her words slurring, and her voice croaky.  
  
A moment later she was surrounded by Cassian’s scent. She felt him swoop her up bridal style, and began carrying her away from the others.  
  
“Shh, don’t talk sweetheart, I’m here, you’re okay, you’re okay,” he whispered to her as he buried his face into her neck.  
  
“It’s raining,” she said, stupidly. _Gods, that was so stupid._ Why did she say that?  
  
“It’s not,” Cassian replied, his tone much more strained than the relieved voice she heard seconds ago. “You hit your head, you were bleeding. It was blood, not rain,” he said with his head still in her neck.  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Yeah, oh.”  
  
She felt wetness drip onto her neck and roll down towards her collar bone.  
  
“Cass, are you crying,” she asked him but he didn’t answer, he still just kept holding her and walking her away from the others as he kept his face buried in her hair. “Cass, look at me,” she told him, her words still sounding a little slurred.  
  
“Don’t be mad at me,” he said, his words muffled from her hair.  
  
“Cassian,” she said much sharper than before.  
  
Cassian finally looked up at her and she felt the air leave her lungs. He was barely recognizable past all the blood and bruising. His eyes were bloodshot, he had a deep gash on his eyebrow, his nose looked broken, a trail of blood came out of it and was smeared all over his face. Even with all the blood, the dark bruise on his jaw was still visible. She could see a bruise forming on his shoulder. She wiggled out of his arms so she could fully inspect him. He was still wearing a blood-soaked shirt, so she couldn’t see his skin there, but was willing to bet that his torso would be covered in cuts and bruises. Nesta dared to look at his hands. As she expected, all his knuckles were swollen, some split open and bloody.  
  
“Who,” she deadpanned, not looking up from his hands.  
  
“It’s not what you think, Nes,” he said.  
  
“Who.”  
  
“Rhys basically made a bet that I couldn’t win a hand-to-hand combat against Cleo so we had a match, we’re both okay.”  
  
“Rhys said that you would be okay, not that you were. What happened?”  
  
“I got knocked out, but don’t freak out Nes, it honestly looks worse than it is.”  
  
“Cleo did this to you?”  
  
“We just had a match. Illyrians do it all the time, we had a healer there, which ended up working out really well considering he was there to check out your head after Rhys _threw_ you onto the balcony,” Cassian finished with anger lacing his last few words.  
  
“He didn’t throw me, Cass, I lost control, I was hurting him,” she said. “Because I was worried about you, you stupid bat! You were too busy getting knocked around to answer me,” now Nesta was getting upset.  
  
“I don’t care. If that were Feyre I wouldn’t have ever dropped her. Not even if my bones were on fire or my wings were shredding again, never. Rhys threw you down like you were practically nothing, and I – I wasn’t there to catch you…”  
  
“Yeah, because you were too busy being stupid and getting bruised and bloodied!”  
  
“This wasn’t supposed to happen; it was a harmless match… I – I’m sorry, Nes.”  
  
After a few moments to consider, Nesta asked, “is Cleo alright?”  
  
Cassian wrapped Nesta in his arms once again. “Yeah, she’s a tough fighter. I’m sure Mor is nursing her wounds,” he said with a chuckle.   
  
Nesta rolled her eyes but felt much better now that she was once more wrapped in Cassian’s embrace. They stood that way for a while, not saying anything, just relieved to be back together again. He ran his hands up and down her spin, over her arms and through her hair, just feeling her anywhere his hands could reach while still holding her close. She felt safe. Happy.  
  
“Cassian.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Take me home.”


	19. Chapter 19

Nesta  
  
  
Cassian flew the two of them back down to the townhouse which was much smaller than the House of Wind. It had a more homey feel to it that Nesta found comforting, and she didn’t want to be around the rest of the Inner Circle right now.  
  
When they got to Nesta’s rooms, they both wordlessly headed towards the bathing chambers where Nesta began running a bath, dumping bath salts and oils into the water. She turned around towards Cassian who was quietly watching her work and she gestured for him to get in.  
  
“Join me,” he tentatively asked.  
  
“We’ll see,” she whispered as she reached the hem of his training leathers and pulled them over his head. She tried really hard to keep her gaze on his face and not rake down his body, to ignore the damage done that she knew she would find if she looked. But when Cassian winced as she pulled the shirt off of him, she couldn’t help herself.  
  
His entire body was covered in blood and bruises. She couldn’t figure out where half of the blood originated from, there were so many cuts and scrapes. He watched her silently as she took inventory of his body. She used her hands to turn him around and he willingly did so, letting her see his bareback and the gashes there. When he turned to face her again, her eyes had tears in them, though none of them had fallen yet.  
  
Still not speaking, she unclasped his belt and pulled his trousers down. Her tears finally falling as she took in the bruise larger than her hand that decorated his thighs. Cassian let her look a little longer before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her cheeks. Then her head where there was a deep gash from where she hit it when they landed.  
  
She pushed him towards the bathtub where he got into the steaming water. Nesta sat on the edge of it and grabbed a bucket, pouring water over Cassian’s hair and upper body. He just sat there and let her take care of him. She washed his hair and scrubbed his body and watched as the water ran pink. She eventually had to drain the water just to refill the tub to get him all the way clean. Once it was full a second time, Nesta stood.  
  
“Don’t leave me,” Cassian turned to her with panicked eyes and a pleading expression.  
  
Nesta didn’t reply, just simply shrugged out of the dress she was wearing. Next stepping out of her undergarments and unwrapping her chest band before cautiously dipping a foot into the water.  
  
“I’m right here, Nes, you’re safe, I’ll get you out, I promise,” Cassian gently coaxed her until both of her feet were in the water and she was standing before him.  
  
She was still silent, and he gave her a moment to get used to the water around her calves before gently gripping her hips and easing her down to straddle his hips. There was nothing sexual about the act, just a level of intimacy they hadn’t reached before.  
  
After a few moments, Cassian broke their silence. “How are you doing, Nes?”  
  
“I’m actually alright. I needed this,” she said before adding, “this with you.”

* * *

  
  
Nesta and Cassian spent the next few hours lazing about in bed and enjoying pillow talk. They laughed and Nesta pinched Cassian in the sides where he had light bruises as punishment for putting her through the stress and anxiety of imagining him hurt. In a way it made Cassian smile shyly, knowing how much she truly cared about him. And the way she fussed about his bruises and bandaged him up.  
  
“If you even think about making a habit out of this so you get pampered,” Nesta started as Cassian chuckled, “I’ll beat you worse than this,” she finished in mock seriousness as she flicked one of his minor bruises.  
  
“You’ve spoiled my evil plans,” Cassian feigned hurt.  
  
Humph, she snorted. "Let’s go eat.”  
  
A few minutes later, Nesta and Cassian were dressed in comfortable clothes, a loose tunic covering the bandaged around Cassian’s ribs. Cassian shot a message to Rhys about where they were holding dinner and after a clipped reply, he scooped Nesta in his arms and shot them towards the House of Wind.  
  
Elain and Azriel were already sitting at the table, Elain chatting enthusiastically while Azriel sat, ever so stoically, hanging off her every word. Feyre and Rhys strolled in almost at the same time, looking regal and composed, Rhys with a secret smirk on his mouth.  
  
Rhys sat at the head of the table, crossing an ankle over his knee. “Well, I suppose since you and Cleo got knocked out at the same time, I won’t be sending you away to the steppes, but I am considering promoting Cleo.”  
  
Cassian rolled his eyes and Feyre elbowed Rhys in the ribs. Cassian and Nesta hadn’t sat down yet. Nesta didn’t know what they were waiting on, it just didn’t seem right to sit.  
  
Mor and Cleo walked in closely together, talking in hushed tones. The moment Cleo caught sight of Nesta her eyes shot downward, “I thought you said she wouldn’t be here,” Cleo whisper-yelled at Mor.  
  
“Nesta, I thought you and Cassian would be dining alone in the townhouse,” Mor said cheerfully.  
  
“Why would we do that,” Nesta asked flatly, “we’ve been dining with the Inner Circle for weeks now, why would tonight be any different?”  
  
Mor and Cleo looked a little puzzled, but Mor shook it off and bounced into her seat next to Rhys. Cleo still stood, her hands folded in front of her. “Cass, Nesta I never meant-“  
  
“Never again,” Nesta interrupted.  
  
“Agreed,” Cleo hastily replied and took her seat next to Mor.  
  
Amren stomped loudly into the dining hall and sat at the other end of the table opposite Rhys. “Well, are we going to eat or what?” And they ate.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is - the last chapter in this fic. Thank you all so, so much for reading. Please comment or kudos if you enjoyed the story; it means so much and boots confidence as I am currently working on an Elain + Azriel modern AU fic! I sincerely hope you all liked it. Once again, thank you.
> 
> Just want to add after having posted this work for a few months now that your comments mean the world to me! I am thrilled you all seem to like my fic and just want to say thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Cassian 

After a few weeks of skidding around and avoiding Nesta, Cleo’s unease and guilt around her finally dissipated. Things were back to normal. Nesta and Cassian, along with Cleo, had fallen into an easy routine along with the rest of the Inner Circle. 

Amren kept to her normal, closed-off self, stowed away in her studio apartment. Only to be seen sporadically and at Inner Circle meetings and get-togethers. Mor and Cleo spent their time together when they could. Cleo awoke every day before dawn along with Cassian and Azriel to do their morning Illyrian-style training; from there she followed either Azriel, Rhysand, or the wraiths to train to become a spy for the High Lord. She could not slip into the shadows as Azriel could, or listen between the walls like Cerridwen or Nuala, but she could lie through her teeth, and not even Rhys could tell sometimes what was truth and what was a lie. _A rare and valuable asset,_ Rhys had mentioned to her once. Anytime Cleo wasn’t training physically, she was training for the proper etiquette of the Night Court, learning how to press political advantages and who to make alliances with. It was very taxing but Cleo was enjoying becoming an important member of the Night Court’s Inner Circle. Mor had her duties as third-in-command, but rarely was required to leave Velaris. She occasionally visited The Hewn City, and was always eager to return to Cleo and the rest of her family after. Cleo and Mor took to each other just the way everyone predicted. And quickly the two of them, along with Feyre were inseparable. Their spirit and big personalities, along with each of their troublesome pasts bound them together tightly, and they quickly became best friends. So much in fact, that Rhysand was annoyed with how much time Feyre spent with the new couple and Cassian and Nesta hardly ever saw their mutual friend anymore. Mor, Cleo, and Feyre, being backed by her sisters, Nesta and Elain, loved teasing and taunting the three Illyrian males; and there was no debate when the girls decided to stick together against Cassian, Rhys, and Azriel. It was pretty safe to say that Rhys no longer ran the show, not that he minded, of course. 

Elain tended to her garden most of the time, and Azriel could usually be found by her side. He sent for his shadows to do most of his spy work now that things were less hectic in the lands, because of which, he wasn’t required as often to leave. Elain became a sort of people's people. A valuable bridge between the common people and the High Lord and Lady. She walked among them during the day, was friends with many of them, she remembered their names and cared for them. If anything in Rhys and Feyre’s’ court was amiss among the people, Elain could handle it, and if need be, bring it to the attention her High Lord and Lady. Azriel admired her for it, for how gentle she was, and how caring and easygoing she was. 

Everyone from the Inner Circle visited Feyre in her art studio in the Rainbow, the loft above her studio became another hang out for them. Mor and Cleo were there most of the time, as they were the ones who spent the most time with their High Lady, but on several occasions, an impromptu party of sorts arose there. 

One evening, when all was calm and settled in Prythian for once, the Inner Circle decided to dine on the roof of the House of Wind, high enough to see the horizon, and all of Velaris’ glory. As the lights below slowly started to light up, one by one, and the members of the Circle had grown full, they drank and danced and laughed together. All of them in peaceful harmony, where you could catch Azriel sneaking a kiss to Elain’s cheek, and Mor twirled and swirled and sang out of key and was intoxicated on wine and music and Cleo. And Rhys and Feyre whispered quietly among themselves, lost in each other. 

Cassian sat back, his belly full from Illyrian-styled dishes that Nuala and Cerridwen prepared, good, but not quite like Rhys’s mother’s cooking; nevertheless, delicious. He had Nesta tucked in tight under his arm as they looked at the stars begin to wink into view. Tomorrow they would celebrate Solstice, but he couldn’t imagine it getting any better than this. 

He strode off to the side of the railing that out looked Velaris, he looked back to see his mate and her sisters joyfully talking about their Solstice plans for tomorrow. Azriel and Rhysand stood up to join him on either side of him. Mor joined the Archeron sisters and Cleo walked over to the three males and the now four of them looked out beyond the Night Court, basking in its beauty and how fortunate they all were to have found this level of happiness once more. 

“What I wouldn’t give to be able to taste the skies just once more,” Cleo said wistfully as she looked out at the setting sun. 

A pang of sadness hit in Cassian’s heart and he looked down at her wings limp at her back. 

“You know, Cleo, there is this theory I wanted to test out,” Rhysand began, “if you’re willing.” Hesitant, Cleo nodded for him to continue. “I was thinking, I know that your wings are clipped, but if we could just get you _up_ , you might be able to spread your wings and glide on your own. Myself, or any Illyrian could carry you up, and once we're at a good altitude, we could let go, and you could soar all on your own…”

Hope bloomed on Cleo’s face and she turned to Cassian, “please, would you fly me,” she asked him breathlessly. 

Pride swelled in him as he grabbed her around her slender waist as he nodded. 

He looked to Azriel and Rhys as he said: “fly below us so someone is there to take her back down when she’s ready.” He shot a pointed look to Azriel and Rhys that said: o _r, to catch her, if something goes wrong._ He didn't need to voice that last part to know that his brothers would catch her if she couldn't do it and began to fall. 

Az and Rhys shot off first, which grabbed the attention of the females as they got up and walked towards Cleo and Cassian. Mor gave her a quick kiss on the mouth before Cassian hoisted them up. 

He flew her just below the cloud line before leveling them out. He carried Cleo below him, and he could tell as she expanded her wings that this theory would play out. 

Slowly, he let her go, and he brought himself level with her and let the wind carry them. He watched as Cleo closed her eyes and tears streaked her face. The breeze brushed through her short hair and the setting sun lit up her face. The wind carried them for a long time before her wings were ready to give out and she couldn’t soar any longer. Rhys was there to bring her back, and though she cried when it was over, the smile never left her face. 

They returned to the balcony where the Archeron sisters and Mor waited with happy tears in their eyes and bittersweet smiles on their faces. When Cleo touched down once again, Mor enveloped her in a hug, as did Feyre to Rhys, and Az slung an arm around Elain and kissed her hair. Cassian was happy to be back with Nesta, and happy to have done that for Cleo, even though it was Rhys’ idea. 

Each member of his family laid out on an assortment of large blankets, some woven, some decorated by a border of beads, some in the patterns and designs of the Illyrian culture, all laid over each other to make a comfortable pallet to lie on. Once Mor had finally stopped dancing, and Cleo came down from her high of flying again, she lay on her stomach with her head in her hands looking down at Cleo while she looked up, Feyre’s head resting on Rhys’ lap while he twirled his fingers in her hair, even Azriel with his hands tucked behind his head, and Elain sitting close to his side, making a crown of flowers, presumably for him to wear. 

“I love you,” Cassian whispered into Nesta’s hair. 

“This is kind of perfect, isn’t it?” She asked as she picked up her head to look at him.

“It is,” he agreed. 

“So, I know it’s early,” Nesta began nervously, “but I kind of want to give you your Solstice gift now,” she spoke as she trailed off. 

“Okay,” Cassian said happily, his mood impossibly perkier at the thought of a gift from his mate, “go on then,” he finished as he rubbed his hands together. 

Nesta’s shaky and delicate fingertips pulled out a small wrapped box from within her cloak. Slowly, she handed it over to Cassian’s outstretched palm. 

“Cleverly hidden,” he praised her, “I didn’t even know you were carrying this,” he said as he held up the feather-light box in his hand. _It looked so small among his huge paws,_ Nesta thought to herself. 

“Is there even anything in this tiny box,” Cassian began to ask with a chuckle as he untied the ribbon holding the wrapping together before his breath caught. 

For in his hand, among the crinkled up paper now, was a single piece of chocolate, made from one of the bakers in the Illyrian camp where Cassian and Nesta had spent the majority of their time together before returning to Velaris. 

The significance was not lost on Cassian, as he struggled for what to say. Around them, the rest of the Inner Circle grew quiet as they watched the exchange with wide eyes and shy smiles. 

“I bought it before we left,” Nesta said quietly. _The whole time_. She had it with her the whole time. From the moment they left the Illyrian steppes, she had carried this piece of chocolate all the way back with her. He couldn't believe it. Nesta continued on, saying: “the baker there said that she knew you well and that it was your favorite-” 

She cut herself off, stunned, as Cassian shoved the entire piece of chocolate in his mouth and swallowed without chewing. 

“No take-backs,” he deadpanned breathlessly as he finished. 

Nesta stared at him dumbfounded, before doubling over and laughing a never-ending laugh that brought tears to her eyes and so much joy to the rest of the Inner Circle that they were all smiling or crying or laughing; or, for Azriel, merely just barely a curve upward of his mouth, but that's really saying a lot for him. 

After an age of Nesta’s laughter, Cassian scooped her up into his arms, as the final pieces of their mating bond clicked into place. He pressed a delicate kiss to her lips, and the Inner Circle cheered and congratulated them. 

“Thank you, my _mate_ ,” Cassian whispered in her ear as Nesta laughed, and he shot them into the skies.   
  



End file.
